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Raising Cain...or Hitler...or Crowley.
Parenting is not an easy task. Anyone who desires to be a parent should really think of it long and hard because it's not all about the cute clothes or the adorable babies. Children aren't pets that you keep for the social stature they bring. I think the movie "Parenthood" said it best when Keanu Reeves said "You need a license to go fishing, to drive a car or to own a gun. But any old *ssh*le can be a parent"
I was at Tom's world in SM Southmall today with my kids. They've recently opened up a play area there called Austin's world or something. The kids went in, had a great time with their great facilities and we went to eat. After eating they wanted to go back and so we did. It was all good until Dave saw this kid throwing balls at my daughter's head. We thought they were just playing until I saw the big fat kid snatching a ball out of my youngest son's hand and then when he wouldn't let go, he started pelting my kid's head with balls. I immediately stood up and called the attention of the staff and the staff had to call the attention of the yaya (or whomever the hell she was) to take their kid and reprimand it. By this time, my son was in tears already and wanted to leave the place. I asked for the manager and pointed out that the whole point of having guardians in the place with the kids was to keep them in line. How then, was this child allowed to roam around and terrorize other kids?
In hindsight, it was my Mother Bear instinct that was on hyper-drive. I admit that it was a bit harsh of me to ask the child be kicked out of the place but if you put yourself in my shoes, wouldn't you do the same? It's so easy to point the finger at the parents and the nanny or the guardian but dissecting the entire situation, who is really responsible?
Again, it's so easy to say it's poor parenting. Blame it on the parents who are inactive or uninterested parents. Blame it on the parents who don't care about their kids. But do they really don't care? Maybe they're just working hard to be able to provide for their kids. Maybe they're just part of a cycle - because that's what they grew up into, it's all they know about parenting. 80% of the time, children who act out and who are bullies are victims of abuse themselves. It's a vicious cycle and the only thing it's good for is producing more people who are inconsiderate and selfish.
What can we do though? I can't help each and every child but I can make sure my kids do the right thing. See, when all of this was going on, my older son took his brother's hand and led him to me. He gave a report on what happened (just as how a Kuya would), secured his brother with me and that I'm comforting his brother and then promptly said "I'm going back in Mommy and make the boy feel how it is to be hit on the head with balls" I was proud of his fraternal instinct and protective instinct but I immediately grabbed his shirt (as he was running fast towards the bully) and pulled him to one side to tell him that his plan isn't the best idea and that violence doesn't solve anything. He complied but still gave the ball throwing bully dagger looks.
I love being a parent. There's nothing like having sticky hugs and sloppy kisses and sweet "I love you's". Coming home from work and having three sets of arms wrapped around me is the best reward. However, I live in fear everyday that I might be screwing my kids up. I guess it's that fear that keeps me on my toes.
Who are you raising?
I was at Tom's world in SM Southmall today with my kids. They've recently opened up a play area there called Austin's world or something. The kids went in, had a great time with their great facilities and we went to eat. After eating they wanted to go back and so we did. It was all good until Dave saw this kid throwing balls at my daughter's head. We thought they were just playing until I saw the big fat kid snatching a ball out of my youngest son's hand and then when he wouldn't let go, he started pelting my kid's head with balls. I immediately stood up and called the attention of the staff and the staff had to call the attention of the yaya (or whomever the hell she was) to take their kid and reprimand it. By this time, my son was in tears already and wanted to leave the place. I asked for the manager and pointed out that the whole point of having guardians in the place with the kids was to keep them in line. How then, was this child allowed to roam around and terrorize other kids?
In hindsight, it was my Mother Bear instinct that was on hyper-drive. I admit that it was a bit harsh of me to ask the child be kicked out of the place but if you put yourself in my shoes, wouldn't you do the same? It's so easy to point the finger at the parents and the nanny or the guardian but dissecting the entire situation, who is really responsible?
Again, it's so easy to say it's poor parenting. Blame it on the parents who are inactive or uninterested parents. Blame it on the parents who don't care about their kids. But do they really don't care? Maybe they're just working hard to be able to provide for their kids. Maybe they're just part of a cycle - because that's what they grew up into, it's all they know about parenting. 80% of the time, children who act out and who are bullies are victims of abuse themselves. It's a vicious cycle and the only thing it's good for is producing more people who are inconsiderate and selfish.
What can we do though? I can't help each and every child but I can make sure my kids do the right thing. See, when all of this was going on, my older son took his brother's hand and led him to me. He gave a report on what happened (just as how a Kuya would), secured his brother with me and that I'm comforting his brother and then promptly said "I'm going back in Mommy and make the boy feel how it is to be hit on the head with balls" I was proud of his fraternal instinct and protective instinct but I immediately grabbed his shirt (as he was running fast towards the bully) and pulled him to one side to tell him that his plan isn't the best idea and that violence doesn't solve anything. He complied but still gave the ball throwing bully dagger looks.
I love being a parent. There's nothing like having sticky hugs and sloppy kisses and sweet "I love you's". Coming home from work and having three sets of arms wrapped around me is the best reward. However, I live in fear everyday that I might be screwing my kids up. I guess it's that fear that keeps me on my toes.
Who are you raising?
