I hate going to the doctors. I hate being prodded and poked with cold metal things. If i wanted that, I would've been a chicken. Yeah, okay, even chickens don't like that. But being one with medical conditions, I still had to go.

The last time I flew out, I had massive pain in my head that felt like a balloon was literally being inflated behind my eyeball. I'm flying out again and I don't want to have to go through that kind of pain so off to the doctors I go. I braced myself for the prodding and poking but I never ever thought it would be like this.

First, your nose is turned up with his finger and it kinda is reminiscent to how you'd make faces when you were a kid. Then he sticks this metal tong into your nostril and prods on. He also put some sort of vacuum in my nose and let it suck something fierce!

I have never felt more violated in my entire life. Ever.

And yet, I still need to get a CT Scan and go back to him. Haaay...

When I was a teenager, someone put me in a regressive state to see what I was in my past life. What I saw was that I was a puritan but had died from a snake bite. It was a black viper that bit me and caused me to die. Which I guess, explains my irrational fear of snakes. I never really gave it too much thought until this morning when I had a very vivid dream of a black spitting cobra biting me.

There are a lot of interpretations of snakes and cobras but all of them have the same gist:
In its psychological interpretation a snake in your dream is a phallic symbol, and to dream of one, especially if it was coiled around you, or otherwise on your body, is a warning that you may be a slave to either your sexual passions or repression. However, according to the oracles, snakes in a dream are warnings of various troubles, obstacles, or treachery. Of course the colors and other details must be carefully considered, but as a general rule: to dream that you were bitten by one portends a period of struggle against unfortunate circumstances, and if it was a cobra, it carries a special warning to guard against accidents in the following few weeks. If your dream featured a snake wound around you which you could not throw off, you are being warned to expect treachery where you least suspect it. To dream of being surrounded and unable to kill more than one or two indicates that you are in danger of being seriously cheated by someone you trust, but if you managed to kill (or get rid of) them all, it is a sign that you will succeed in spite of any hostile opposition; to walk over snakes without trying to kill them suggests that you will, in the end, actually turn the tables on those who are trying to block your way. To dream of playfully handling snakes suggests that you are in danger of being led astray by unprincipled friends or associates; and if your dream featured a professional snake charmer at work, it indicates that you will have to defend your reputation against malicious gossip.

In my dream, I was with Dave and he was bitten too. But he rushed to give me the anti-venom first before he took care of his. I was screaming for him to get away, to take care of the snake but he took care of me first. I passed out in the dream and promptly woke up in real life - scared and touching my left leg at the place where the dream snake bit it, checking if there were any puncture wounds.

There was another person in the dream - he wasn't the snake charmer but a snake handler. I couldn't see his face and he wasn't doing anything. He was just staring and watching us.

This dream comes a week after a palm reader tells me that I only have 8 years left to live. He says that if I try to be healthy, the maximum I'll get is 14 years. I shrugged it off. I guess I'm just fatalistic. Does this mean I have to prepare my funeral already? Or does this mean a lot of people I know would like to see me dead?

These men are supposedly the 100 most eligible men in the world.

*blink, blink...cock head to one side...blink some more. Cue snicker and snort*

Okay...this is Justin Bieber...if you're into that kind of thing. His bio states that he's 18 (or 19). Riiight...

I can see this one using more hair products than I do! Do you really need that much hair?

I'm not sure if it's his sideburns or his ears that keep me glued to his face...

Granted, there are a couple who are hot but trust me, it's about a couple.

Like this dude.

This is proof that most of the good men are already dead, dying, married, taken, committed or priests.

Yeah...

I dunno what's scarier - the eyebrows, the hair or the outfit. I have to give her props for mega confidence ha.

Looks like a poor man's Lady Gaga.

My maid saw a huge rat gallivanting in our backyard. She said it was the size of a small cat. I started to wonder how New York rats managed to migrate to the Philippines but I didn't want to go there. I just wanted the rat our of our home.

So I trekked to Ace Hardware to procure a rat trap or a rat killer or rat poison. anything that would render the rat dead as a doornail. I walked along the aisles but I couldn't see any of the items I wanted so I asked a dude who was manning one aisle.

"Excuse me, where do you keep your rat killers?"

He looks at me with a confused face.

"Rat. Poison, trap, killer, anything?"

He clears his throat and asks in a whisper "What would you need that for?"

"I dunno, maybe to kill a rat?" (What else would I use it for? Do I look like I chug rat poison for kicks?)

"How big is the rat?" He still whispers. I'm starting to think there's a rat conspiracy or maybe there's a law against killing rats now. I whisper back to him saying that it was the size of a small cat. He then points to the direction of another aisle and says "You need a rat trap then."

"Oookaaaay..." I start walking away and then I turn around to ask if he can teach me how to work one but he just disappeared.

Freaky.

I got a rat trap and was very anxious when I got to the cash register. I was afraid I was going to get caught or something. Nothing happened.

So...if I do catch that rat tonight, I'll probably bring it along to Ace hardware again and show the dude, just on principle alone. And besides, it would be funny.

I find these highly disturbing...hilarious too but disturbing nonetheless. This is why I sometimes wonder about white people...

So I've had a lot of things to say about romance and the lack of it. Anyone who has ever met me or known me, knows that I get a little squeamish about romance and intimacy. Yes, I have intimacy issues - shut it. As one friend has beautifully put it "Dude, you're too sensitive to be so fucking concerned about cuddling and shit. It's a fucking irony" Just so we're clear, it's not an intimacy problem, now that I think of it; it's more of a trust issue.

Who the hell am I to complain about romance and intimacy when I really have it good? All I'm saying is, thank Eric Kripke that I'm not a duck...

Men, on the other hand may think that the duck is now an animal worth worshiping. Read these articles here and here and tell me that you don't have a new found respect for ducks.

Women might think about envying the ducks as well. Imagine what you can do with the power of choice like that, huh?

It was a crazy week for me. Hell, it's been a crazy ass couple of months. But the cherry on top of the entire crazy frozen dessert of a week was when I realized I do have a reputation and that it does precede me.

I decided to have a drink after work, just something to get the edge off. I met up with an old colleague and we just hung out and shot the breeze. A woman came up to our table and asked "Hi! Are you (my name)?" I have never met this woman before nor have I ever seen her in my entire life. I figured, my friend was here and if this woman turned out to be violent or crazy, I got back up. So, I said the affirmative and she spewed out a couple of names of people that I used to work with and I nodded and smiled. Here's the kick in the pants - she goes:

"Oh goodness! So you are THE (my name)!"

The? I've got an article attached to my name now? I'm confused though, does that objectify or stereotype me?

How do you react to that? I did the best I could and gave an awkward chuckle, a lopsided half smile and a facial reaction similar to that of someone tasting something funky.

Of course, with my luck, I get the best kind of audience. My friend chuckled and said "Well, look at you and your reputation. You're your own PR!"

Crap...so apparently, I do have one. This scares the holy bejesus out of me...

Yeah... La Toya Jackson kinda looks like Goldilocks gone bad...I mean like how chicken or fish would go bad.

I think I'm staying with my original hair color.

An article was sent to me and I've managed to read through it with a fair amount of open mindedness and impartial judgment.

One, I think it's something to definitely consider judging from the credentials of the accuser. Jane Burgermeister is not a random crazy floozy. She is distinguished and is also an accomplished writer in the field of global climate change, biotechnology and ecology. You can't just chalk it up as some conspiracy theory because there is that semblance of credibility on the accuser's part.

However, methinks that someone has been watching too many Hollywood films.

I'm not medically inclined nor am I well versed in biotechnology. The closest I can get to that is feeling hot when it's Summer and cold when it freaking rains - that's about as extensive as I can get, so whatever verbal garbage I spew should not in any way, shape or form change or mold the reader's opinions. But I'm still saying them anyway...

It's inevitable to find certain viruses and bacteria mutating. If you believe in evolution and human development, physiologically speaking of course, then why is it hard to understand that hey, shit happens - this time shit happened in the form of a flu virus called A H1N1.

It's easy to accuse corporations about botched vaccines to make ginormous amounts of money. It's so easy to point fingers and throw blame everywhere. Why not? I mean, it's possible, isn't it? But isn't it also possible that since AH1N1 is a fairly new mutated virus, initial vaccine tests are experimental and aren't perfectly developed? I mean, it's ideal, sure but nobody gets a perfect result on the first experiment.

I'm probably the most jaded person there is in the world. I've raised paranoia into a freaking art form and I'm being considered the replacement for the disciple Thomas when it comes to doubting. I guess I just want to believe that the pharmaceutical companies are out there to doing what they've intended to do in the first place: Help People.

Besides, everything's "alleged" until there's solid verifiable proof.

I've been trying to see my life in a different perspective - courtesy of The Secret. Not that I'm not liking the results, I mean, I do have a more positive outlook now and I honestly feel much better; happier.

I learned a valuable lesson though (as you see, life's rules are learned as you go) and that is, you have to let your subconscious out once in a while and not suppress it, otherwise, it's going to come back and bite you in the ass so hard that you'll have the weirdest dreams.

***

I've been having personal issues - like lots of them. My mom's illness, finances, job stability, my kids' security, my failed marriage, the strained relationship with the ex as we try to be civil for the kids, a failed project or two and everything else in between.

So, I tried to look at these issues and try to see a positive side to it: My mom's responding well to her medications this time, so that's a good sign. Money will always be a problem in this world so I try to do what I can and thank the stronger forces out there (and lady luck), I've been able to make ends meet and then some. My kids are wonderful creatures and they will be who they want to be and they will achieve what they want. I still got a decade and a half to truly worry about their security. Things will be awkward between me and the ex for a while but I'm truly hoping we can see this through as responsible parents and friends.

So far, so good. The mental positivity was transforming into something tangible. Today, however, was just not a good day. My oldest son was scratched by one of the backyard kittens (we knew it was inevitable that at least one of these kittens retaliate) and he's got a fever now. We're observing him, trying to make sure it's not rabies or anything. The thing is, he's very clingy and cranky when he's sick and refuses to be with anyone else but me and his nanny. My mom's very stressed about my finances and everything else that seem to concern me so that's kinda stressful for me too. But I kept thinking "something good's going to come out of this...eventually"

I put the kids to bed and went to bed myself. Almost immediately, I dreamt a horrible dream. I swear, it's like being in one of those horror/action/thriller B movies.

It started with a sense of being lost somewhere, like a mall and I remember leaving my bag behind a counter and going back to get it. After that, it was like I was being transported in a big metal box like an elevator. I remember trying to hide under an old style sofa and this guy found me and asked me to come out of my hiding place. I knew he was trying to help me so I went. Then I remember being trapped in a house in the middle of the ocean where a huge ass ocean monster with a bazillion razor sharp teeth await to consume us and inside the house was another monster lurking in the shadows, wanting to kill us and then eat us. I had to make sure everyone in the house was safe, including this sweet little girl with beautiful curly hair and an abundance of curiosity which I was sure, the monsters would just love to eat first. I remember feeling so tired but I couldn't rest. I had this strong sense of protectiveness over the people who were with me in my "unit" - An older woman, a young girl, a couple of strangers who I'm pretty sure were as scared as chickens in a KFC farm and, Djimon Honsou. Djimon Honsou...really. Anyway, I'm trying to seal us in a room with beds and a TV, just to keep them entertained while I kept watch. The door wouldn't close. It was changing everytime I tried to close it: It was too big, too small, asymetric, had too many locks, had too many holes, etc. I finally gave up after about 10 tries and just stood guard over the frame. There were other people in the house and I was too paranoid about them and their intentions. And then, it hit me.

I was paranoid of these other people in the house, outside of my "unit". The man who urged me to come out of my hiding place was gone. I felt like he was permanently gone. Outside the room where we were in was my greatuncle who, people tell me, is a traitor and will sell my liver to the highest bidder if he were given a chance. I knew these people who were outside my "unit" and I knew they'd kill me and my "unit". I realized I had to arm myself and my "unit". Guess who was the ammunitions supplier? Alma Moreno.

That pretty much woke me up. Dude, Alma Moreno and Djimon Honsou in one dream? That's super freaky, even for me.

I'm pretty sure this dream is just a visual treat of my emotional and psychological issues. I'll be able to translate it into something more coherent and sensible later on. For now though, I just had to let it out before I attempt to go back to sleep. Because, in the name of Zaldy Zhornack, I do not want to have that dream again. Ever.

I don't think "frivolous" is the term I would use to describe what the student wrote. The words "holy", "mother" and "Fucker" comes to mind.

(Click on picture to enlarge)

I am...speechless.

It's like a car crash. It's so horrible but you can't seem to tear your eyes away from it.

Talk about changing your views. An Orthodox bishop has recently given a statement that hell is temporary and that in the end, God will forgive even the demons, devils, creatures and whatnots there are in that sick sad place.

Wow. That's a far reach to prove that God is indeed a loving and forgiving God. Not to mention it's something completely unorthodox to the concept the Catholics have been spewing. What will they use now? They can't threaten the people with the concept of hell and the torture they'll get if and when they don't repent because apparently, there's still hope.

***

Heard in Starbucks: Team Leader talking to an agent.

TL: Just hang on there. Let me share something to you because I'm thinking it's right to you.

Agent: huh?

TL: Let me share why we had some these changes. Kasi pioneer tayo. Detailed ang policies. Do you understand? It's something that is good with us. We can't wonder anything about it.

Agent: Huh?

Me: Huh?

Wag ganyan...