In this crazy screwed up world, you have got to find ways to make you laugh. Because if you don't laugh, you cry. And crying is a bummer... So, that said, here are some things that make me smile and laugh:

This is a lengthy read but I swear by the holes on Spongebob's body, it's a very good read.

This was originally for my daughter. I kept it for myself instead because not only was it hilarious, it's cute too.

Early Call Center... hehehe

Only in the Philippines can you see something like this. 

Corporate slaves will understand this and laugh...and then cry right after because it's so true...

 

Maraming katanungan ang ibinunga ng litratong ito. Naghihirap na ba si Jollibee at sumasabit na lang sya? Sobrang bigat at taba na ba nya at di na nya kayang lumipad?

You know, on a really geeky level, Dave and I have figured out a way to make this work. If you re-adjust the keys so that it would hit just one specific assigned spot and then fit the roller with a touch screen layout which is the same as the keys, you can just connect that to the TV so long as the TV has the proper connectors, attache the mouse and VOILA! You have a working "computer typewriter".

Epic facepalm, move over. I'm going to do a Pink Floyd Facepalm.

Pinoy ingenuity at work.

The kids wanted to eat a rainbow. So, I gave them rainbow pancakes. 

This is one of the reasons why I love taking public transportation. Not only do I help save the planet and support local transportation companies and their employees, I also get to see interesting people and what interesting stuff they do while on the bus.

 This man was reading a music sheet. He was also slowly waving his hand, as if he were a conductor. He probably is, or a music teacher at the very least. 

Now see here, Windows. Why do you give me the option to cancel an action when the truth is, you can't cancel the operation?! 

These are some things that make me smile and laugh. In this crazy world, we should know how to just stop, chill, enjoy the moment and have a good belly laugh.

AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

Apparently, this is a real life Timon and Pumbaa. Not sure how real this is but it's pretty awesome.

This made me laugh so hard. Honga naman di ba?

During the rains, the kids were so bored (Now I understand what my mom and Nanie went through when I was younger and I declared "I'm bored") So, we recycled crayons. The kids loved shaving the crayons and breaking them up. 

Of course I think the real thrill here was that they were making a huge mess and that it was allowed. 

Love the colors!

 This is our finished product. Good luck kung ano mang kulay ang puedeng lumabas dyan.

We also made crayon tarts. 

 And now, the best photo, in my opinion is this. My little man, growing up and taking responsibility. Sipag ni kuya! After nito, nag mop naman sya ng floor. :) 

Every day is a great day. Just remember the transformers. :D

 Gay dogs make me giggle. Landing doggie itong si Potpotski.

 To converse with THE Mark Gil is an honor enough but for him to praise my acting, yun na! Todo na yun! Puede na akong mamatay...pero wag naman. 

 To see Dave with Robin Padilla makes me smile. The two most gentlemanly individuals I have ever met in the same room together? Yeah....that's bliss.

 To have the opportunity to work with Pen Medina is a great honor. Tay, salamat sa mga tawanan natin sa set. Sa susunod na project ulit. :)

 Jeffrey Tam is a dream client. We did his website jeffreytammagic.com. He's so talented, humble and sincere.

 Being with my babe is always a happy time. 

 Going to museums with the kids and seeing them enjoy learning is always a gratifying and satisfying time.

 Seeing the kids enjoy their new Angry Birds watches make me smile.

And little boys that turn a pail into a makeshift bathtub makes me giggle.

I received this in the mail today and it made me smile because I really wasn't expecting anything. It was a token from SMART Communications - my mobile phone provider. Thank you SMART! I really appreciate this. Our 2010 wasn't so great but you did manage to turn things around and make it all better for me. Even tonight, when I called (because of a recurring issue), Mae, the customer service representative was so nice and was very efficient. Aside from the great customer service, it made me smile even more when I saw that you're supporting the Gawad Kalinga Sunshineville, here in Las Pinas where I live! :D Thank you for being socially active and responsible. That's what's going to make me stay with your company and that's what's going to make me promote you and your products with my friends. Now, if only we can get my boyfriend's blackberry to work... :D

When we started Kudos.ph yesterday, we weren't expecting a lot of people to come and visit. But they did and I love the number of people on there yesterday - 143! :D I want to send a big thank you to all those who visited and a special thank you to Ron De Vera for leaving that wonderful kudo for me. Thank you so much! I hope this can help in spreading positivity in the country and hopefully, in the world!

Thank you too, to the wonderful Miss Lesley Anne for her sweet comment. You made me smile. :)

What made YOU smile today?

I've been in a funk ever since my birthday. I was sick (like REALLY sick) and I didn't have any money to do the things I wanted to do for my birthday. There were good things in it though - David taking care of me, the cake my uncle bought for me, my new red handbag courtesy of Mom, my pretty new earrings from my daughter, my cards, my beautiful genuine leather notebook complete with an authentic calligraphy pen set and Chinese ink from David!

However, it wasn't enough to get me out of the funk. That was, until I stumbled across Color Me Katie's blog. She's such a silly and wonderful and colorful person that she inspired me to get out of my funk and start doing nice things - things that I've forgotten that I've loved! I started today by taking photos of the kids and editing them. I even got a great one with Bea watching a butterfly flutter by.

Then I took photos of her all around the village. We cycled around with the bike with the side car and we just talked about school and stuff she'd like to make with me. It was pretty fun. This is the result:

Of course the boys wouldn't be left behind. Although they chose to go "comfy" in their Pajamas. I love how these photos captured their personalities so well.

Tomorrow, new photos!!

"Mushroomburger" He scoffs.

"What?" I said.

"Mushroomburger. It's probably the most disgusting thing ever." He repeated his disdain for the food.

"Hey! It's one of my favorite burgers!"

"Just stick fungus between two slices of bread"

I laughed and he continued with his tirade, with more passion this time. "It's true! I will never eat anything that grows on dead things."

"Yeah, but you eat dead things!"

"Yeah, but not things that grow on dead things!"

"It's an edible thing!"

"That grows on dead things."

"But it's still edible."

"So is sterilized dog poo"

A beat. "I love our persiflage."

My maid saw a huge rat gallivanting in our backyard. She said it was the size of a small cat. I started to wonder how New York rats managed to migrate to the Philippines but I didn't want to go there. I just wanted the rat our of our home.

So I trekked to Ace Hardware to procure a rat trap or a rat killer or rat poison. anything that would render the rat dead as a doornail. I walked along the aisles but I couldn't see any of the items I wanted so I asked a dude who was manning one aisle.

"Excuse me, where do you keep your rat killers?"

He looks at me with a confused face.

"Rat. Poison, trap, killer, anything?"

He clears his throat and asks in a whisper "What would you need that for?"

"I dunno, maybe to kill a rat?" (What else would I use it for? Do I look like I chug rat poison for kicks?)

"How big is the rat?" He still whispers. I'm starting to think there's a rat conspiracy or maybe there's a law against killing rats now. I whisper back to him saying that it was the size of a small cat. He then points to the direction of another aisle and says "You need a rat trap then."

"Oookaaaay..." I start walking away and then I turn around to ask if he can teach me how to work one but he just disappeared.

Freaky.

I got a rat trap and was very anxious when I got to the cash register. I was afraid I was going to get caught or something. Nothing happened.

So...if I do catch that rat tonight, I'll probably bring it along to Ace hardware again and show the dude, just on principle alone. And besides, it would be funny.

Overheard a conversation between a dad and his young sons:

Son: Why are you so tall, dad?

Dad: Because when I was a kid, I stretched out to reach for the stars so I can pick them off from the sky and give it to your mom.

Experienced an earthquake today - 6.1 on the Richter scale!

Of course, I thought I was just dizzy with my meds and never thought anything of it until they pointed out that it was an earthquake. My first thought was "Holy crap, thank god it's not me" then it was quickly followed up with "Holy crap! It's an earthquake!"

You know something's wrong with you when you're relieved it's an earthquake.

(The great divide between the city and suburbia)

Since I work nights, I have become oblivious to natural sunlight and what it reveals. On a normal day, from where I sit in the office, I see darkness and the usual foray of lights from the nearby buildings and the road from far off. I have taken it for granted and have thought nothing of it until yesterday when I had to come in for a (supposed) meeting at 4PM.

(Makati City at 4:30 PM)

I used to live in Makati and I've always marveled at the concrete, steel and stone pillars that have made Makati a strong CBD. From a marshland with nothing, it has changed to this bustling and beautiful city in just the span of 60 years.

(Makati circa 1960. Photo c/o Ayala Prime Properties)

It kind of makes you feel powerful, no? That we are capable of creating such things and build cities and we are also capable of destroying it and after building magnanimous buildings, we can just take it for granted and say "Meeh...it's just a stone structure that I go to to work."

Maybe we have to change perspectives again.

Everyday at work (well technically, every night) I would walk the short distance from the unloading area for Paseo de Roxas going to my building. It was always the same thing almost every single time. I've somehow memorized the cracks and the lines on the pavement. Last night however, when LA and I were walking, I decided to look up and this is what I saw.

It looked like it was a scene from a Batman movie. It felt like I was in Gotham city, waiting for the Dark Knight to come rescue some helpless fellow or chick from a criminal. After the initial fascination subsided, I realized that this was actually very poignant.

Every night I'd walk this short distance and never did I look up until tonight. Every night (and day) I was looking at my life from the same perspective and the same angle, and I now wonder, what sort of beautiful picture the universe would give me if I just looked up?

Here's my challenge for you: I want you to take a photo of a place, space (or anything at all) or something you see every day but take it from a different perspective. Send it to ianrgvictor@gmail.com and I'll post it here. I wish I could say there's a prize for the best photo but I'm not that generous just yet. (I'll give you a GC from Starbucks, but that's it.)

The best reward, truly, is that epiphany that life is beautiful.

I was buying coffee at a convenience store to wake up and to get rid of my throbbing headache. Some scientists claim that coffee helps alleviate the pain caused by headache. Others would say it'll cause more pain - I didn't care either way, I just wanted coffee.

So I go up to the counter and purchase a small cup.

Me: "Miss, small coffee please"

Cashier: "Coffee, Ma'am?"

Me: (Thinks to self - Didn't I just say that? I bit my tongue and nodded)

Cashier: "What's the size of your small coffee ma'am?"

I seriously didn't know if she was being funny or stupid or if she had a suicide wish.

Me: "I want a small large coffee with coffee"

The cashier then smiles, takes my money, gives me a small cup, three packets of sugar, two creamers, some napkins and my change.

How we understood each other with that conversation, I'll never know. It's going to be another Da Vinci code. Awesome.

I was watching this Filipino movie on TV and I couldn't help but laugh my ass off. The scene was a confrontation between two women - the wife and the mistress. The wife asks the mistress to tell her the truth about how she's sleeping with her husband (or something like that) So, the mistress says the one thing that everyone knows except for the wife: that she and the husband are having an affair.

Wife: "Sabihin mo sa akin ang totoo! Nagsisiping ba kayo ng asawa ko?" (Tell the the truth! Are you sleeping with my husband?)

Mistress: "Bakit kailangan ko pang sabihin ang isang bagay na alam mo na?" (Why do I have to tell you something you already know?)

Wife: "Sabihin mo! Gusto kong manggaling sa iyo ang totoo!" (Say it! I want you to tell me the truth!)

Mistress: "Oo. Kinakama ako ng asawa mo. Ayan, sinabi ko na. Gusto mo pa bang malaman kung gaano kadalas?" (Yes. I'm sleeping with your husband. There, I've said it. Would you like to know how often too?)

*Wife launches into hysterics*

Wife: "Kasinungalingan! Sinungaling! Hindi totoo yan!" (Lies! Liar! That's not true!)

*Cue my laughter*

I find this hilarious for a number of reasons. One - it's actually so true to life! One important lesson here is that we should never ask for the truth if we can't handle it. If you want to know the truth, you must be able to accept it no matter what the outcome would be. If lies keep you happier then be comforted with the fact that you will never know the truth. This reminds me of that scene from the movie A Few Good Men. Jack Nicholson said it best "You want the truth? You can't handle the truth!"

To quote Shark: "Truth is relative. Pick one that works" If you want truth so badly, you must be mature enough and responsible enough to accept it. If you're craving for truth and yet you only want the good kind - the one that will make you all giddy and happy about yourself - I suggest you walk away before things get ugly.

You want the truth? Here it is...

There is no spoon.

I've been neglecting my writing. I've gotten so caught up in writing emails and instructions and delegations that I've managed to forget to write for the sheer pleasure of it. I feel so guilty.

I need inspiration. I need to be jolted out of this stupor. (I need to get out more often...seriously). Perhaps I can find inspiration this Saturday when my aunt, mom and I are going to Chinatown for the walking tour. There's nothing like looking at a place you pretty much are familiar with from a different perspective.

Hopefully I can find inspiration then...

It was a crazy week for me. Hell, it's been a crazy ass couple of months. But the cherry on top of the entire crazy frozen dessert of a week was when I realized I do have a reputation and that it does precede me.

I decided to have a drink after work, just something to get the edge off. I met up with an old colleague and we just hung out and shot the breeze. A woman came up to our table and asked "Hi! Are you (my name)?" I have never met this woman before nor have I ever seen her in my entire life. I figured, my friend was here and if this woman turned out to be violent or crazy, I got back up. So, I said the affirmative and she spewed out a couple of names of people that I used to work with and I nodded and smiled. Here's the kick in the pants - she goes:

"Oh goodness! So you are THE (my name)!"

The? I've got an article attached to my name now? I'm confused though, does that objectify or stereotype me?

How do you react to that? I did the best I could and gave an awkward chuckle, a lopsided half smile and a facial reaction similar to that of someone tasting something funky.

Of course, with my luck, I get the best kind of audience. My friend chuckled and said "Well, look at you and your reputation. You're your own PR!"

Crap...so apparently, I do have one. This scares the holy bejesus out of me...

This weekend was a little tiring for me.

I had to take care of mom and miss one day at work (which was a Friday, and that means I have to come in early today just to make sure I catch up on what I left behind.). I was supposed to go out Saturday night to relax but I had a call for a shoot for a film. Was filming until 5:30 in the morning and had to go back to Las Pinas to just literally shower and dress up for another event over at Quezon City at 9 in the morning. Got back home at about 9 in the evening and had to take care of some other personal stuff until about midnight.

Now, tired as I may be (and sleep deprived - yes, I can hear all of you screaming, especially Malou, Dean B and Japs) I still can't shake this feeling of immense gratitude. True, I may not be at the pink of my health nor am I out of my financial and emotional burdens but there are a lot of things that I am still grateful for and these things make me happy day in and day out.

I've got beautiful, smart and polite children who greet me every day with a smile, a sloppy kiss and sticky hugs. They make me laugh with thier antics and make me feel like I've done something right in this world. There's no better word in this lifetime than the word "Mommy".

I've got a wonderful and loyal mother who'll always mean well and want the best for me and my children. She raised me to be the best that I can be and to be who I wanted to be. She may have a weird way of showing her support and affection but I wouldn't want it any other way.

I've got my Nanie who'll always treat me as her "Baby". I will always find comfort in her arms and in her phone calls (albeit weird meteors attacking the earth ones...hehehe)

I've got a few true friends (Virtual and RL - you know who you are. *wink*) that will never ever steer me wrong and will always want to hear about my day even if it's pointless and whiny.

I've got a job that lets me help those that need and want it, it pays the bills and it also lets me do other things that I love (such as shoot for shows and films) It's really a godsend.

I'm filled with love and affection and genuine concern. What more could I ever want? (Although Jared Padalecki is still on the top of that list. hehehe) The universe has been generous. I want to be able to share those blessings as well, in any way I could.

Thank you.

My daughter's classmate came up to me while I was talking to my daughter and she saw my tattoos.

"B, what's that?" She asked my daughter while pointing to my tatts.

"Tattoos." my daughter responded, nonchalantly.

"Why does your mom have them?" Uh..hello? I'm in the room, right in front of you?

My daughter looks at her, dead pan and said "They're art."

The kid looks at me and my tattoos. Then she reached out and tried her very best to erase them. I couldn't hold back my laughter. She finally looks at me and says "What do I call you?"

I smiled. "Well, use B's name and add a Ms. or Mrs. to that."

She nodded vigorously and said "Mrs. B's Mother, why won't the drawing erase?"

I chuckled. "Because it's permanent. You know what permanent is?" She shook her head. " It means it won't come off anymore"

She looked aghast and said "Your mommy let you write on your skin permanent?!"

I couldn't stop laughing. My daughter's eyes couldn't stop rolling.

Yeah...all in all, it was a good day.

I've been neglecting my writing.

I blame Facebook and it's applications. I blame the gifts I can send to my friends. I blame Farm Town and Vampires and Roller Coaster Kingdoms. I blame discussion boards and wall posts and inboxes.

In my defense, I have been writing...just not in the best literary form...*winces*

My friend, Aya has this paradox he calls "The Taxi Paradox". Actually, it had another name but I just couldn't remember what it was, so I'm calling it the taxi paradox. He states "When you have a lot of money to spare for a cab and you're in a hurry and need to get somewhere rally fast, there are no taxis anywhere. However, when you ain't got no dough, taxis seem to be sprouting like daisies right in front of you."

The taxi paradox can also be used to explain my situation right now: I've got to lose a couple of pounds before Friday for a photo shoot and I just can't stop stress eating! I've scarfed down carbs, fat, sweets, chocolate and other horrible unmentionables and all the while I hate myself for it. If this doesn't start an eating disorder soon, I'll voluntarily declare that I have one.

It's the same case when I was younger. I used to crave for real love, the whole romantic "sweep me off my feet and name stars after me" kind of relationship. All I got were hot one night stands and a lot of phone numbers. Then, when I got a little older, I gave up on the fairy tale and just wanted to enjoy the hot mindless, passionate and animalistic stranger sex I was getting. It was at that time that I started meeting men who wanted to sweep me off my feet and the whole shebang.

I say, the world will screw with you no matter what. No use in complaining and no use in bitching about it. Ride the tide and enjoy what you got. Eventually, you'll get what you really want.

Coincidentally, my previous post was my 666th entry. Wala lang...

***

Sabi ni KC there should be something amazing happening today because of the date. I'm pretty sure a lot of people got married today. Makipag pustahan kaya ako kung gaano sila katagal?

...bitter...

***

I've been writing - letters, thoughts, random cranial spewage.

I need Biogesic. Masakit na ang hypothalamus at frontal lobe ko.