And I mean TERRIBLE! Be it online, on the phone or face to face. It's just so frustrating and sad that this had to happen. I was expecting more from them, even though they're a budget airline because they're owned by Philippine Airlines, which in my experience, has been nothing but excellent.

We've had a trip booked with them last April and we've waited all this time to hear a response from them but they haven't answered so I figured, it's about time I post what has happened. This is the transcription of our Facebook communications:

• AirphilExpress Attendant

  • Hello Ian!
    
    We're now available on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/airphilexpress) and on Twitter (@airphilexpress) for customer support. Got any issues or complaints? Tell us and we'll work on that.
    
    APX
    (I've posted on their Facebook account on how terrible the service was. I even posted it on Twitter. They've responded tot hose posts with this)
• 
  

  April 11

  Ian Galliguez

  • Thank you for your message. I was expecting something more from your company in terms of customer service because PAL has been nothing but stellar and I was sorely disappointed with yours.
    
    I called to get a ticket booked for my boyfriend, who at the last minute decided to come with us to Iloilo. First off, your website needs A LOT of improvements. Whenever someone clicks on your contact details, we get a fatal error on screen which means the script you are using is in itself incorrect. This has been going on (at least to my experience) for almost 4 days now (and counting). That should be rectified immediately because had it not been for the fact that my sponsor had already booked my flight, I would've just gone straight to Cebu Pacific or Zest Air instead. This easily correctable error makes you lose possible online sales. Get that fixed and fast. I instead found a number on facebook.
    
    Second, I understand why a company would have a 24-48 hour holding time before the purchase of the ticket. I have asked PAL to do the same for me and they've gladly obliged and then some. I have already stated that I didn't care about the price of the ticket, what I wanted was a bit of understanding and consideration since I have just arrived from Baguio and will be flying to Iloilo in a few hours. I was told that the only way I could get that ticket reserved was if I went to the airport at 5 in the morning which was 5 hours before my flight! There was no empathy and there was no human appreciation of the situation. THAT was what I found appalling. I asked if she can have it held for just an hour later but she said no and that the only way for me to get this ticket was to go to the airport and take a chance to buy it there.
    
    I have nothing to say about the staff in Terminal 3. From the ticket office staff to the check in clerks - they were cheerful, friendly, helpful and emphatic. My boyfriend is 6'2" and is a rather massive British fellow. I've explained that AirPhil planes usually don't have comfortable legroom (We call your planes the jeepneys of the skies with the way you cram all these seats together with almost no leg room) and that if we could have a seat that was either at the first row or at the emergency exits. We were willing to take the responsibility of the task of manning the exit doors. Our check in clerk cheerfully put us on the first row and wished us well. It wasn't the same in Iloilo though when we were coming back. I have explained the situation to the check in clerk but this time, he stated that it was a premium seat and that I had to pay 200 pesos for the seat. I explained that in Manila, we weren't asked to pay but he said that it was a premium seat and that we all had to pay if we wanted to be seated together. It felt like we were being ripped off. I asked if he could explain it in a way that I could understand which meant I required a response other than the phrase "premium seat po kasi" and "Kasi ganyan po pag fully booked ang flight"
    
    And as predicted, there was non-existent leg room in our seats (18 a, b and c). Not only that, but the seats weren't even checked or cleaned as there was an empty pasta box (complete with fork) on the seat pocket in front of our seat which smelled like it's been there for a while. I pressed on the attendant button and nobody came over. I just grabbed the passing flight attendant and called his attention on it. He didn't even apologize for it, he just took a look and grabbed it and left. All this time, the attendant button was still blinking. It kept on blinking until take off. I purposely didn't unclick it to see if any of the attendants would come to our seat but we were able to take off without it even going off. Now, this tells me that either the button is just there for decorative purposes and that the FAs were trained to ignore the attendant call or they have absolutely no clue as to what that button is for.
    
    Please, take this feedback positively and make the changes.
• April 12

  AirphilExpress Attendant

  • Hello Ian!
    
    We're very sorry about this unexpected event. And yes, we will never take your feedback as a negative one. Instead, this will be a good trigger for us to improve the service the passengers deserve.
    
    You can forward your sentiment to customercare@airphilexpress.com. On behalf of Airphil Express, we're sorry for the inconvenience tis[sic] event may have caused you.
    
    APX
• April 13

  Ian Galliguez

  • Pardon me for being critical but if you were really concerned about the customer service, YOU would've IMMEDIATELY forwarded this message to the concerned group. This is the prime example of how terrible your customer service is. What could have made this correspondence redeemable (and perhaps would have alleviated my annoyance) was if you had said "I have forwarded your concern to our manager." This means you have taken on the responsibility of the issue and that you are truly sincere about your apology and are prepared to make sure that the necessary steps to improving customer service happens.
    
    Nonetheless, I've send it to the email address you've provided. My boyfriend however, is less forgiving than I am. He has made a blog post about it and is terribly terribly upset.
    
    We want to be able to get your feedback and post about this experience. We own an online travel website that has 94,000 readers a month and we want to be fair in our reporting. Though we appreciate your apology, we would like to know why this has happened and what will be done to ensure that this will not happen again.
• April 13

  AirphilExpress Attendant

  • Good Morning Ian!
    
    Alright, Ian. I will escalate this concern to the customer support head. Our Facebook will serve as your channel when we want to update this complaint. I apologize for my previous reply.
    
    Have a nice day!
    
    APX
    (First off, "Alright, Ian"?! That's so patronizing! Do I sound like a 5 year old that can be appeased with an "Alright, Ian?". Second, you're using Facebook as a channel for complaints? How professional is that? Lastly, you had to wait for me to tell you what to do? Oh dear lord...)
• April 26

  Ian Galliguez

  • Hello,
    
    I have emailed the people you told me to contact and they haven't replied to us yet.
• April 27

  AirphilExpress Attendant

  • Hi Ian!
    
    May I know the name and email address you used? Thanks!
    
    APX
• April 27

  Ian Galliguez

  • Hello,
    
    You provided the email address (customercare@airphilexpress.com)
    
    You also stated "I will escalate this concern to the customer support head. Our Facebook will serve as your channel when we want to update this complaint"
    
    It has been 13 days since that statement (see above message sent to me on April 13 at 9:01 am) Surely, that's more than enough time to read an email.
    
    Thanks.
• April 27

  AirphilExpress Attendant

  • Hi Ian!
    
    What's your name and the email address you used to email us.
    
    APX
• April 27

  Ian Galliguez

  • ianvictor@discoverph.com
• April 27

  AirphilExpress Attendant

  • Hello Ian!
    
    The customer care checked their emails and they didn't receive any email coming from ianvictor@discoverph.com. What we did is we forwarded this conversation straight to them. Please wait for our reply.
    
    APX
• April 27

  Ian Galliguez

  • Hello,
    
    I have sent the email and I have the header if you need it. I haven't received any notice from the postmaster so that means that it was delivered. It could have been sent as spam. Regardless of that however, you stated that it would be sent to the concerned people.
    
    I'll just wait for your reply then.
    
    Thanks.

That's the end of our communications. I have not heard anything from them anymore. I will be posting this on DiscoverPH as well because in all honesty, people should be aware of how terrible their customer service is!

Yes, they are a budget airline. I understand that and I also understand that they're trying to cut corners and make do with what they have to be able to provide such cheap air fares for people who would like to travel on a budget. However, no matter how cheap your fares are, you shouldn't scrimp on customer service! It is the lifeline of any company.

I'm not trying to be a brat who can't get her way. Hey, I've flown on other budget airlines that have the same price for the fare (even cheaper sometimes) but they're never ever this bad with customer service! Cebu Pacific has great customer service! Their FAs are always smiling and they even converse with you! But this, this is just appalling.

I hope this reaches the big bosses. They should start taking a look at how this is affecting their sales and customer service. Make a search on Google and you'll see even more posts about their customer service and how bad it is.

Parenting is not an easy task. Anyone who desires to be a parent should really think of it long and hard because it's not all about the cute clothes or the adorable babies. Children aren't pets that you keep for the social stature they bring. I think the movie "Parenthood" said it best when Keanu Reeves said "You need a license to go fishing, to drive a car or to own a gun. But any old *ssh*le can be a parent"

I was at Tom's world in SM Southmall today with my kids. They've recently opened up a play area there called Austin's world or something. The kids went in, had a great time with their great facilities and we went to eat. After eating they wanted to go back and so we did. It was all good until Dave saw this kid throwing balls at my daughter's head. We thought they were just playing until I saw the big fat kid snatching a ball out of my youngest son's hand and then when he wouldn't let go, he started pelting my kid's head with balls. I immediately stood up and called the attention of the staff and the staff had to call the attention of the yaya (or whomever the hell she was) to take their kid and reprimand it. By this time, my son was in tears already and wanted to leave the place. I asked for the manager and pointed out that the whole point of having guardians in the place with the kids was to keep them in line. How then, was this child allowed to roam around and terrorize other kids?

In hindsight, it was my Mother Bear instinct that was on hyper-drive. I admit that it was a bit harsh of me to ask the child be kicked out of the place but if you put yourself in my shoes, wouldn't you do the same? It's so easy to point the finger at the parents and the nanny or the guardian but dissecting the entire situation, who is really responsible?

Again, it's so easy to say it's poor parenting. Blame it on the parents who are inactive or uninterested parents. Blame it on the parents who don't care about their kids. But do they really don't care? Maybe they're just working hard to be able to provide for their kids. Maybe they're just part of a cycle - because that's what they grew up into, it's all they know about parenting. 80% of the time, children who act out and who are bullies are victims of abuse themselves. It's a vicious cycle and the only thing it's good for is producing more people who are inconsiderate and selfish.

What can we do though? I can't help each and every child but I can make sure my kids do the right thing. See, when all of this was going on, my older son took his brother's hand and led him to me. He gave a report on what happened (just as how a Kuya would), secured his brother with me and that I'm comforting his brother and then promptly said "I'm going back in Mommy and make the boy feel how it is to be hit on the head with balls" I was proud of his fraternal instinct and protective instinct but I immediately grabbed his shirt (as he was running fast towards the bully) and pulled him to one side to tell him that his plan isn't the best idea and that violence doesn't solve anything. He complied but still gave the ball throwing bully dagger looks.

I love being a parent. There's nothing like having sticky hugs and sloppy kisses and sweet "I love you's". Coming home from work and having three sets of arms wrapped around me is the best reward. However, I live in fear everyday that I might be screwing my kids up. I guess it's that fear that keeps me on my toes.

Who are you raising?

Noontime shows have always been a staple in the Filipino culture. I have seen noontime shows come and go - some of them I appreciate (especially Lunch Date just because of Randy Santiago) and some of them I wrinkle my nose at (Wowowee). But they exist because there's a market.

Eat Bulaga is an institution in the noontime show niche. They've come a long way from being just a variety show. Although there are times that they leave a bad taste in my mouth (such as the innuendos JDL often gives) I still respect them because of the human stories they try to show the people. They help people who need it without exploiting them. Sometimes, they go a bit over the top with the drama but I understand it completely. After all, it's still television.

Now, although Willing Willie is not in the noontime show category, it does have the same formula as its predecessor did (Wowowee). They have the games, the mini variety show and the money that's being given away. People watch the show in the studio for a chance to get a spot at the games and bring home some money. Again, I understand that. who wouldn't want to bring home at least 5 thousand pesos just by jumping up and down the stage floor while having your 15 seconds of fame? Madaling trabaho nga naman.

You can make fun of them, poke fun at these contestants, have half naked women gyrate to every single drum and bass beat to the simple catchy tunes you play in the background. Hell, you can have your half hour to an hour's worth of tirade and phone calls to erstwhile friends on air - I really don't care. Sabi ko nga, kung sino ang may hawak ng mikropono ay siyang may kapangyarihan. That is, until the audio guy cuts your mike off. Hey, do whatever you want to do in the name of ratings and whatever justification you can conjure up. I just don't like it when you start bringing in kids into the mix.

I read somewhere that we are all judged as a civilization on how we treat the smallest of all creatures. We are judged on how we treat our children and all children for that matter. When you force a child who is CLEARLY uncomfortable with what he/she is doing, then no justification can ever suffice. You just end up looking like a bigger asshole than what you already are. When the production team behind the show allows this to happen to a child on live national television, no explanation can every justify the shameful act. When the network in which the show airs at keeps its silence about the matter and shrug it off as just "showbiz", it's downright criminal. You just taught a child the basics of prostitution - "Do this and you get money to bring home to your parents". Brilliant. absolutely brilliant. (In case you missed it, that was sarcastic)

What is MTRCB doing about this? Will the DSWD say anything? *scoff and sigh* Honga pala, money talks. Sorry, nakalimutan ko.

I'd rather be where I am - a D-list actress who takes taxis, buses and jeepneys; a support actress with no fanbase, but I'm good with myself in knowing that I treat EVERY SINGLE PERSON as a PERSON. Sa iyo na ang pera, endorsements, mansion at yacht mo. Di yan madadala sa afterlife at lalong di yan magiging batayan kung ikaw ba ay papasok sa Utopia.

Update: As of 5:11 PM, I have received this link that shows the full press release of DSWD regarding "Janjan", the 6 year old contestant on Willing Willie.

IMHO, they really should persecute to the full extent of the law - not just Willie but the staff, the producers and the station.

Reputation - n.

1. The general estimation in which a person is held by the public.

2. The state or situation of being held in high esteem.

3. A specific characteristic or trait ascribed to a person or thing: a reputation for courtesy.

 

Character - n.

1. The combination of qualities or features that distinguishes one person, group, or thing from another. 

2. A distinguishing feature or attribute, as of an individual, group, or category.

3. Genetics A structure, function, or attribute determined by a gene or group of genes.

4. Moral or ethical strength.

5. A description of a person's attributes, traits, or abilities.

 

***

I've always had a reputation. Actually, I have a lot. But truth be told, I never gave a flying fudge about them because reputations will always change and it's just that - an estimation of my image. People will always have a different opinion about me. Others will say I'm evil incarnate. Others will claim I'm an angel (debatable), a whore, a slut, a know it all, a self-absorbed egotistical megalomaniac and everything else in between.

You know what? I. DON'T. CARE. Say what you want about my reputation because I don't give a rat's ass about it. You want to know what I care about? I care about my character. My character is worth more than my reputation and I don't need anyone else to teach me or show me how to do that. My middle class education and family afforded that for me. My working class life has given that.

***

So, have a go at my reputation. Please. My character will always trump my reputation. Every. Single. Time.

There are a lot of things that I believe I don't deserve: My children for one. I think they're absolutely precious and I feel so lucky and honored to be their mother. I believe I don't deserve compliments, especially if it's about my physical appearance because I can't, for the life of me, see myself as pretty or beautiful.. I feel awkward when given gifts because I have always believed that I should be able to work for something and get it as a reward for my hard work. But there are some things I will draw the line at.

I don't make rash judgments simply because I hate to be judged just as quickly. I believe that there is a story behind every person's action and they always have a good reason why they did what they did. the bottom line is, I don't want to make any kind of decision or judgment on anyone without first knowing the entire story. I think that's fair and just. However, I can't ask that from other people as we all know, most people are biased and judgmental idiots.

First off, I think I deserve the chance to be happy. After the crappy relationships that I have had, I think I am due some sort of happiness in relationships. I am in one right now. He treats me and my children like royalty and he takes care of us in every aspect - EVERY ASPECT. Which is more than what I can say in my previous relationships. So it's an inter-racial relationship. Are you shocked about that? It's freaking 2010 already! We've been sending machines to other planets and we've been so advanced with technology but we can't look past two people with different skin colors having a relationship? What the frack is that?!

Second, I hate the fact that people ask me what my boyfriend's nationality is and then grin so widely that they look like the freaking Cheshire cat! Then, without being prodded, they'll say I'm lucky to have a British boyfriend as their currency's conversion rate is higher than the dollar. WTF?!?! Is that how you see Filipinas who are having relationships with foreigners? Taena, mukha ba talaga akong pokpok at yun kaagad ang iniisp niyo na gusto ko sa jowa ko? I seriously take SOOOO much offense to that. Granted, that there are a lot of Filipinas out there who do that but must you think EVERY SINGLE FILIPINA is doing that? My god!

Lastly, you have no right to tell me or my family members what you think about MY relationship because NOBODY FREAKING ASKED YOU. Keep your opinions to yourself.

Guess what finger I'm holding up to salute you?

Former US President Bill Clinton was in town today to talk to the Filipinos about encouraging their fellowmen to "come back home".

Am I the only one who thinks there's something totally off about that statement? But before I start calling him certain names that I will not print, I read the news article on some more.


“Create a climate where everybody [participates],” Clinton said. “Get more people to come home."


The former president referred to the 8.5 million-11 million overseas Filipino workers and cited the need to “reorient the mindset of its people through education and access to employment that can keep the population from migrating to other places in search of better paying jobs,” GMANews reported.

Okay...first off, we already have an existing problem with education as there aren't enough rooms for school children and let's not get started with the teacher's salaries! Access to employment? Buddy, I don't know if you've heard, but we kinda also have an employment problem here that we're trying to solve too. That's what you're saying but what I'm hearing is that you basically want us to stop working in your country because you want the jobs that we have that your people wouldn't take that you pay way below minimum wage, to go back to your people who do all those things that we've just mentioned previously.

Second, you've come all the way to the Philippines to tell Filipinos to convince other Filipinos to come home? Do you see the beauty in this? You come here to tell us to go home? You go home!

And lastly, and in my opinion, the most beautiful thing about this, you say this because you want to foster a community that participates and blah blah blah. The point is, you're doing this for a "good cause". But you're charging for it. Manila Hotel and TicketWorld will begin ticket sales on Monday, October 4, 2010. Early Booking Promo Ticket Prices: 25k for VIP, 15k for GOLD, 10k for SILVER, 5k for BRONZE, 2k for General Admission. That's quoted for every single internet article about the event. I love how the General Admission is at two thousand pesos. That's priceless, right there. 


You shouldn't have done Monica Lewinsky in the first place anyway.

Photo courtesy of Ellen Tordesillas

This week has been all about different idiotic things. Mislang's tweets (I still think she should've just resigned or she should've been fired. either way, keeping her in office is just bad taste and is obviously a bad decision. There are things that don't deserve second chances)

It makes me wonder what the hell she was thinking when she tweeted all those things. I can't believe she even had the audacity to tag her boss and the boss took it very nonchalantly too. Hello Ricky Carandang! I understand how some people can be crass or tactless at times during a party or a social gathering but this was a state dinner, joskoh. I dunno about Mislang but I was taught at a very early age by my mother to be a grateful and polite guest in ANY party. If you were invited to attend a party, be a gracious guest. If you were invited to review a restaurant and its meals then you can go ahead and criticize everything. You were invited as part of the Philippine delegation, Mislang. Sana umarte ka ng tama, di ba? Sabi nga ni Alessandra De Rossi, "Umarte ayon sa kagandahan. Pag di ka masyadong maganda wag kang maarte." Lumugar ka naman 'teh. Tsaka para sa akin, dapat umarte ka ng ayon sa oiliness ng mukha mo.

Here are her original tweets. (Yes, Mislang. Even if you've deleted your account there's such a thing as syndication where your original tweets have been saved in someone else's server. It has been preserved FOR-EVAH! It will haunt you and your offsprings as a badge of shame forever. I don't think this is one of those "look back at it and laugh" kinda deals.

All photos are courtesy of Ellen Tordesillas

Actor slain on set

Okay, now this one is just totally bizarre. A Filipino actor was killed by a volunteer watchman on the movie set that he was acting on. The scene was a shoot and drive away scene and the actor, Kirk Abella, together with the driver of the motorcycle they were supposed to speed away in were wearing masks and was immediately thought of by Eddie Cuizon, a volunteer watchman in the community as real life robbers. He screamed at them to cease and desist but Kirk and the driver didn't so Cuizon opened fire and killed Abella.

"The 51-year-old later told police he wasn't aware a film was being made and had been told by villagers about gunmen roaming the street.

Many assassinations of political figures take place by masked killers who use a motorbike for a fast getaway."

I have a few questions here, being one that works with films and television. First off, where was crowd control? Where were the security people that were supposed to take care of the set? If it were truly a film, the locations should be cordoned off. Since it's also a "drive away" scene, I would assume that the cameras are on either ends of the set or at least a crane for a top shot, these cameras should at least be visible. How the heck did Cuizon not see them?

Let's say that the cameras were well hidden, I get that. However, where was crowd control or at least the assistant director when Cuizon entered the set and screamed for Abella and company to stop? A ruined shot should have been cause of a great uproar. The cameraman would've already said "Dammit! A weirdo is on the set and ruined the shot! Cut! Cut!" I know of directors who would've screamed bloody murder because the boom microphone was peeping in the scene. (Actually, I know one who screams bloody murder when a particular blade of grass blows in the wrong direction) Where were they?! 

So Cuizon did the right thing and surrendered himself to the police on the account that he did have a gun that he wasn't supposed to. Yes, I agree and I think what he did was right, but come on! Not everything is his fault here! The film company (who's a British film company, BTW) should also be held responsible for this fiasco. 

The Film's British director, Alan Lyddiard refuses to comment. Read the article here. (On a personal note, I think Alan Lyddiard SHOULD comment and MUST be held responsible as well)

Death of Rock Radio

NU107 has played its last song and has bid all of its fans adieu and raised the horns for the final time.  

It's kind of depressing to think that such a legend like NU107 has rocked its last song. who's going to be the authority now in rock music? 

I remember watching the NU107 Rock Awards with Mona back in college and now I'm filled with nostalgia and sadness that we will never have that again anytime soon.

It scares me to think that the only radio authority now is iFM or StarFM. Holy crap. If Tito Potato or Nicole-hiyala were to host a rock awards, I'm pretty sure only Mystica or Blakdyak would be nominated.

I'm not one to judge but you make it so easy

Kris Aquino actually stated this on air, in reference to estranged husband's lawyer's attack on her "parenting skills" (or lack thereof). She said that no one has the right to tell her how to raise her kids and how to parent them. Oh Kris...you make it so easy for us to criticize you anyway. 

Let's take Josh for example. For years, you've denied that he had a problem. You have stated over and over again that he has ADHD or that he's just being a "boy" and threw out "boys will be boys" statements all over. Then there was that CEz Drilon dressing room and make up incident. Yikes. Your son practically trashed another person's dressing room and make up kit to which your son's yaya was left helpless to control the kid. Apologies were given, make up sets were replaced and it was left at that. Hey, even I understand Josh. He can't control himself. That's not his fault. If I were in Cez's shoes, I would've been upset but I would've just hugged Josh and sat him down and explained to him that he should always ask permission first and not touch what's not his. Even mentally challenged kids can be trained to be polite and courteous. I think you're doing just fine with this child. Granted, he still needs a bit of work and training to get rid of his unhealthy dependency on you and be self-sufficient but at the end of the day, we'll forgive him and love him because of his state.

But Baby James? Wow...You really screwed this one up BIG TIME! First of all, Bimby is not a respectable nickname nor is it a respectable substitute to his known monicker "Baby James". This kid has no excuse for being rude. Remember the "Villar!" incident during the Presidential campaign? That wasn't cute. It was very cringe worthy. And then there's this latest "I don't like Dingdong!" fiasco is a confirmation of how you really are as a parent. What's his excuse? Nothing. He's just a plain old spoiled and rude brat. He knows he can get away with bloody murder if he wants to. You're not helping him grow up to be a productive member of society. Methinks you're raising him to be a jerk or worse, an asshole. 

Hey, I have kids too, three under the age of 8 and one who's a teenager. I'm raising them single-handedly too (with the help of my mom and David...okay). In as much as I would love to be with them every waking hour and minute of the day, I know it's not healthy to have them around the set all the time. First off, it's not comfortable. All that waiting will drive the kids insane! Second, it's just unprofessional. Companies do not allow children in the premises for good reason - they're a distraction and decreases productivity. Even if you can technically get away with it, you really shouldn't. I think you just want adulation through your children, which is just terrible. And lastly, having a horde of nannies for your kids isn't parenting; having a lot of vacations with your kids (with the nannies and your entourage of groupies and hangers-on) isn't parenting. Granted, I don't know what goes on behind closed doors and in the privacy of your home but how your kids are outside of the house is an indication of how you raise them inside the house. I'm not telling you how to parent your kids but I'm telling you that clearly, you're doing something very very wrong.

With all these things happening, I don't want to see what's going to happen for the next week. *shudder*

My daughter came home yesterday and showed me her report card and I was very impressed by her grades so I asked her what she wanted as a reward. She said she wanted to watch "Despicable Me" with me and her pops. Being a pushover with my kids, I immediately said yes, called up Dave and asked to meet him at the mall - dysmenorrhea be damned.

So off we went and we were a bit early so we went in to watch the previews. When we finally settled in our seats, I was so appalled by the previews that they were showing! Take note that this is supposed to be a film for the entire family but the primary market for the movie are kids. Children. As in small humans who are supposed to be sheltered from the harshness of life for at least 13 years of their lives. What were they showing as previews? Graphic horror movies. I strongly emphasize GRAPHIC. Like blood, gore, slashing, cutting, exploding flesh and other gross stuff.

I mean come on!! Sure, it's was a weekday when we watched but that doesn't give you the right to show those kinds of film previews to a crowd made up of children!! I had to cover my daughter's eyes and told her to cover her ears! Those images are enough to give adults nightmares for weeks! What do you think this would do to a child?

Paging the manager and Operations director of SM Southmall Cinemas, please make sure you review EVERYTHING! Oh, and the film kept on jumping, the sound was terrible and scratchy. It would've been better watching it at home with a DVD. I mean, this is the reason why people buy pirated DVDs! It's cheaper and sometimes, the quality is better!!

Now, I have to make up for that terrible movie experience as well. Thanks SM Cinema. Good job. That was sarcastic by the way.

TMI, I know but I don't usually have PMS. They come and go and I rarely get a fit that's just insane (for me that is). Lately, I think it's been getting worse. Maybe it's old age or maybe it's just the weird hormones counteracting or reacting to my medications or maybe it's the fact that the human race is degrading and devolving.

Take for example the bus. Yes, I take the bus, and a trike and a jeep and on the off chance, a pedicab. But that's not my point. My point is, the first row (technically the first two rows) on a bus is reserved for those who are pregnant (and no, no matter how huge your beer belly is, you cannot assume you are. Although sometimes I wish you were so you can truly understand how it is to feel back pain and swollen ankles and the sensation of drowning every single time we lie on our backs.), who are with small children and babies, the differently abled and/or physically handicapped and the elders. STOP SITTING ON IT! And for f*ck's sake, will you well abled jack@sses just get off your seat and offer it to a woman already?! We know you're faking that nap, bast@rd.

Another thing about Filipino public transportation is that there really is no sense of personal space. But for the love of god, that doesn't mean you shouldn't be considerate of the other passengers in that vehicle with you, right? If you have long hair and you're in a jeep, please make sure to tie it down. I don't like the taste of hair in my mouth, nor do I want someone else's hair to be whipping across my face. I pull them, just to give you fair warning. I'll pull them and I might even take some strands with me. Or, I may even cut it. I swear to all things Jared Padalecki, I will freaking mow your hair off.

Then there's lines and queues. THERE'S A REASON FOR THE LINE! WE'RE WAITING OUR TURN! I mean, you see a long line of humans going to the same direction you're headed to and you cut the line and when you're called on it, you go "Oh! I didn't notice you there!" Really? REALLY? You didn't notice the 30 people stood here on the side? Did you think we were performance artists or worse, a public installation?!

And then there are the reckless drivers on the road, like this dude. He was reading the paper while driving. His cup of coffee on the dashboard of the car, spilled like crazy and he's allowed to go on the streets?! I mean, choose an activity, will you?! Are you going to read the paper and enjoy that fresh hot cup of joe or are you going to be stupid and try to multi-task and perhaps even get yourself in a minor vehicular accident? Ahhh...it seems you've opted for the latter. Brilliant choice - if you're suicidal or homicidal.

And just as I think that all humans are now degenerates, I see this:

In probably one of the busiest intersections in Las Pinas, a baranggay traffic enforcer takes the hand of a blind man and stops traffic to help them cross the street. He doesn't stop there, he sends them off in a jeepney and talks to the driver and asks that he bring them to where they're going.

Then that calmed me down and I started to think that there was still hope for mankind.

So, Wowowee is gone. I almost breathed a sigh of relief but then held it again because the show's going to be replaced by a game show hosted by Kris Aquino. I immediately did a resounding facepalm.What we need is a noontime show that does not exploit the sad state of affairs the masses have. What we need is a show that is informative, helpful and is hosted by someone that does not have a voice affectation ( Di ba Bwoy?)



*Sigh* I guess it's a universal constant...

Here's the truth - not every Filipino can sing. It's a myth. I mean, sure there's that vast majority who can carry a tune and rock the stage every now and then but most of us? We sound like drowning cats.

I used to be able to sing. However, years of smoking and fatigue has taken a toll on my voice. That's why I don't sing anymore. I'd rather be shot in the head with a 12 gauge than to sing publicly again. At least I have some semblance of shame and desire to protect whatever is left of my broken dignity. That's not what I can say about other people though.

For the love of Elvis, please don't soothe yourself with the illusion and delusion that you can actually sing. Trust me buddy, I've heard better sounding whales. In fact, to compare you to a whale would be insulting to the whale. You sound like a cat being dragged by its nuts through a street filled with broken glass and then thrown into a pool of lemon juice and salt. And that's me being polite and nice. Some of us would like to slumber in the silence of our thoughts (and our thoughts are loud enough already)

I have one word for you: shower. Sing in the shower. If you have the need to belt out some Mariah Carey (you're a guy, FFS!) do it in the privacy of your sound proof shower.

I had a conversation with a friend about six months back about how homosexuals here in the Philippines will never be given the right to marry. He says that there are too many hindrances and roadblocks for this. I find it so hypocritical of us Filipinos to say this and I also find it pathetic for us to believe this. Religion, he says, is the biggest of all the roadblocks and it will always be the baseline to anything that would negate any other demands homosexuals would require from Philippine society. "Buti nga tanggap na namin ang mga bakla eh. Mas mahirap ang kalagayan ng tomboy, mas di sila tanggap." (Be thankful that we've accepted the gays. It's worse for lesbians as we still cannot tolerate them)

Right...Here's my immense gratitude for you. *insert your preferred visual here*

Just now, Brew gave me this link for me to seethe over. Okay, I have two things to say about this.

1. Homosexuality does not equate to immorality. I do not say this because I want to defend myself for being bisexual - I say this because as far as I'm concerned, my sexual orientation and preference is none of your damn business. It is religion that dictates and defines morality. Now, religion, is something that man created. It is an interpretation of their chosen deities' teachings. Didn't your god say that it's immoral for you to judge people? (Those of you who has not sin shall cast the first stone...) Didn't your god teach tolerance and love for ALL of his creations? Didn't your god create us as well? Ano kami? Kabuteng umusbong na lang sa sanga ng kahoy? So, until the Powers That Be come to me and speak to me directly (without the help of any chemicals), I cannot accept your opinion and judgement on how immoral we are.

2. Gays, Lesbians, Bisexuals, Transgendered, Transsexuals and the like, I say this to all of us. We have brought this upon ourselves as well. I mean, you expect these people to take us seriously when you have an online newspaper that has the name "Bulatlat". Yes, it's creative and it has a wonderful double meaning, and you can argue with me until you turn blue in the face but the fact of the matter is, we're painting targets on our asses with this kind of immature action. If you want to be taken seriously, you better get their attention on a level they'd understand. Think of it this way: If you want a 3 year old's attention, you don't talk to them like you're talking to an adult. Level with them. Play their game first, play by their rules then change the rules. Soon enough, they're now programmed to play by your rules. No violence, no resistance with optimized results! Ano ba? Basic psych war rules!

***

Change will happen. It's inevitable. The sooner we all accept that, the better we will all be.

I've realized that we tend to apologize for a lot of things that don't really merit an apology. We take it upon ourselves to apologize because we feel like it's the polite thing to do when we really don't mean to say sorry. I've also come to realize that I will never apologize for certain things that have happened in my life, things that I have done, and things that I believe in.

1. I will never apologize for my past - Why should I? These things happened to me and not to you, asshole. Why should I say sorry to you for something that I've experienced? My past is my own and it has made me who I am today.

2. I will never apologize for eating like a starving man - So, I'm not one of those "Dainty ladies" you've met who poke their food around and pretend to be full when they're really Jonesing for a freaking cheeseburger. I eat. A lot. (Maybe a lot more than what I really should consume) I like eating.

3. I will never apologize for my fashion - Call me a freaking weirdo for the clothes I wear. You just don't have the guts to wear them. (Or maybe you do...but then that's pudginess 'round the midsection and not guts). I wear what I wear because it makes me feel good about myself. I don't make you wear it, so stuff it up where the sun don't shine, Pokey.

4. I will never apologize for something I've done intentionally - You may not accept the action or the reason behind the action. I will not explain myself to you. I've done it and I have my reasons for it. I've made my peace with it and so screw you for judging me for it.

5. I will never apologize for my "crazy" family - These are the people who stuck by me and loved me unconditionally. Between you and them, there's really no contest there. Blood will always weigh more than anything.

So, here's a thought: Before you demand for an apology from me, think hard about what you want me to apologize for.

I like hosting events. I like hosting events that have a lot of kids in them. I like hosting events that involve families. What I don't like is having to host an event with clowns and freaking mascots. What I hate more? Mascots with an attitude and a mission to make sure I get terrorized. The fuckers...

So, yesterday, I was hosting the WM Family fair. One of the sponsors that we had was Pampers - the diaper brand. They brought along their mascot, Pampa, for the kids' enjoyment. The kids love it - what, with a 7 foot plush toy that moves and interacts? Hell yeah, the kids will love it. I am, obviously, not a kid. Therefore, I do not find any kind of pleasure or joy in seeing the damn giant plushie. In fact, I dread it. I loathe it.

So when the fucker tried to sneak up on me and scare the unholy bejesus out of me, I had to consider freaking payback.

Take a look at the photo. Take a very good look at the blue elephant. Okay, done? Good.

So, on mic, I told Pampa that if he can clap and make a sound by doing so, I'll give him a hug in front of everyone and will attempt to conquer my fear of mascots. I'll even make him stay on stage right beside me if he can point at something - like really point.

Yeah...the poor fucker didn't know what hit him. He attempted to clap but all he succeeded in doing was to look like a retarded Tarzan.

He pretty much avoided me the whole day, which was just fine with me.

Watch CBS Videos Online

This is very disgusting and disturbing.

When I watched it, I initially thought it was done by someone so young and afraid that they had a momentary lapse in judgment. I was shocked to find out that this heinous act was done by a 44 year old woman! Forty four! I know I've done some dumb stuff at 30 (and just recently as well) but I don't think I can even compare to the idiocy and cruelty of this woman. Age, really, is just a number.

That 44 year old woman even had the audacity to ask for a cigarette from the construction workers who were nearby. It was the same workers that noticed that something was wrong and that this woman didn't need a cigarette because she needs to do a number 2. Oh, and the blood and birthing fluids kinda gave her away.

Candy Michelle Vignari apparently gave birth in the Portable Toilet and left the baby there to die. If it weren't for the construction workers, the baby would've been dead. (See, this is what happens when you name your kid after food items!)

I don't understand it. How can you carry a child to term and then leave it to die somewhere undignified as a portable toilet? I'm angry. I'm looking at my children as I type this and I can't help but feel righteous indignation for this woman. Somebody had better sew her vajayjay up or at least be humane and smart enough to give her a hysterectomy.

She's in jail - which in my book is an injustice. Where she should be is in a metal portable toilet that has a blocked drainage system, in the desert.

Another thing I want to know is, who is the dumb ass that knocked this chick up. Grr!! I'm getting close to be incoherent! I need a fucking drink or five!

This? This is a nice picture. It's tastefully done and it's artistic. It's something I'm proud of and it's hot! So, when you post a comment on FB with a laugh attached to it, pertaining to the photograph, it irks me. It insults me and it annoys me. (Lolo, you're off the hook. We're good. Unfortunately, there are more troglodytes existing in the free world)

I've lived my entire life putting myself down on the looks department. I've been raised to think that I resemble a red hairy fruit rather than a human being. I've lived most of my life being compared to my cousins who were gifted with beautiful porcelain skin (as opposed to my dusky complexion, which, by the way, I do love now) or my friends who looked like hot celebrities.

I dealt with it. I even made it work to my advantage - I became a self deprecating comedian. And for a while, it worked. Make a joke about my skin tone and my looks, get a couple of ha-ha and get paid for it. But, truth of the matter was, I wanted to be told that I wasn't ugly. I wanted someone to look at me with all sincerity (and not because he/she felt pity or obligation) and say "You're beautiful" and for me to actually believe it. (Trust me, it's hard. I'm cynical and I have major trust issues)

Then, recently, I realized that if I kept waiting for someone to do that to me then I'll never hear it at all. I had to look at myself in the mirror and appreciate what I have and learn how to love the skin I'm in. I had to believe that I'm beautiful, in my own right, through my own eyes.

And I did.

Now, since I'm my own self protector against Neanderthal displays of idiocy, I say this: "You want to try that comment again? This time, let's drop the whole negging thing or the juvenile display of misdirected bullying just to get the girl's attention because it's getting old, really fast. It's annoying and it makes you look like a degenerate, insecure, emasculated dick."

***

Why do men do that anyway? The whole negging thing? (Negging - verb. Mostly done by men to women who intimidate them. They put down the women, verbally abusing them and their positive qualities so they can have a rat's ass chance in hell to sleep with the woman) Did you seriously think that women - smart, beautiful, gorgeous women with a wicked sense of humor and a smashing personality - would sleep with you after you neg them? You see, in my world, that is a clear invitation of having your pansy ass handed to you on a platter.

Here's a thought: LISTEN TO WHAT YOUR MOMMA TAUGHT YOU!

Ever hear about this thing called "a compliment"? Try that. Or, try treating the girl right. Open doors, pull chairs, stay on the dangerous side when crossing the street, OFFER TO PAY, INSIST ON PAYING, take the girl home - all that stuff that most men today have forgotten.

Women, no matter how smart, successful, scary intelligent we are, crave for the basics. Treat us right and we don't have to go marching down the streets protesting or plotting in dark corners on the best way to cut your dick off.

***

So, want to try that again?

It usually takes a lot to offend me. I've pretty much seen a lot of things and gone through a lot of experiences that certain tactless remarks or offhanded comments don't really affect me all that much anymore. There are, however, certain things that will irritate me and it can push it to the next level called annoyance and will eventually, offend me.

1. I often roll my eyes at how people air their dirty laundry all over the internet. It's insulting that they use technology this way. Here's a thought: It's a private matter, deal with it in private. Trust me, people don't want a status report every 2 minutes and they sure as hell don't care if you've got some STD you can't spell because your man is a lying cheating scumbag who'd screw anything with two legs who'd stand still long enough. Have some dignity, please.

2. I'm very particular about the written word. I get berserk when I read SMS language on the internet. I mean, seriously? It's not a T9 keypad, it's a freaking keyboard. Keyboard. Are you really that lazy to type a few extra letters to make it into a proper word and not just a freaking vowel? (see u vs. you) Here's a mini grammar lesson for y'all:

Your - pronoun, second person. Used to signify possession or ownership/
You're - a contraction of "you are". Contractions are shortened versions of certain phrases, created to make writing more condensed and succinct.

Don't confuse the two. It's annoying and it's offensive to me. When in doubt, double check the context and implied meaning.

3. I'm pretty sure there's a number 3...I know there is... DAMNIT! Stupid cold drugs are making me all woozy and wonky...

I hate viruses.
I hate chat and text language.
I hate feeling all blotchy and sneezy and dry and hoarse.
I hate misspellings.
I hate incorrect word usage and incorrect sentence structures.
I hate bacteria.
I hate not being happy and positive.

I've been trying to see my life in a different perspective - courtesy of The Secret. Not that I'm not liking the results, I mean, I do have a more positive outlook now and I honestly feel much better; happier.

I learned a valuable lesson though (as you see, life's rules are learned as you go) and that is, you have to let your subconscious out once in a while and not suppress it, otherwise, it's going to come back and bite you in the ass so hard that you'll have the weirdest dreams.

***

I've been having personal issues - like lots of them. My mom's illness, finances, job stability, my kids' security, my failed marriage, the strained relationship with the ex as we try to be civil for the kids, a failed project or two and everything else in between.

So, I tried to look at these issues and try to see a positive side to it: My mom's responding well to her medications this time, so that's a good sign. Money will always be a problem in this world so I try to do what I can and thank the stronger forces out there (and lady luck), I've been able to make ends meet and then some. My kids are wonderful creatures and they will be who they want to be and they will achieve what they want. I still got a decade and a half to truly worry about their security. Things will be awkward between me and the ex for a while but I'm truly hoping we can see this through as responsible parents and friends.

So far, so good. The mental positivity was transforming into something tangible. Today, however, was just not a good day. My oldest son was scratched by one of the backyard kittens (we knew it was inevitable that at least one of these kittens retaliate) and he's got a fever now. We're observing him, trying to make sure it's not rabies or anything. The thing is, he's very clingy and cranky when he's sick and refuses to be with anyone else but me and his nanny. My mom's very stressed about my finances and everything else that seem to concern me so that's kinda stressful for me too. But I kept thinking "something good's going to come out of this...eventually"

I put the kids to bed and went to bed myself. Almost immediately, I dreamt a horrible dream. I swear, it's like being in one of those horror/action/thriller B movies.

It started with a sense of being lost somewhere, like a mall and I remember leaving my bag behind a counter and going back to get it. After that, it was like I was being transported in a big metal box like an elevator. I remember trying to hide under an old style sofa and this guy found me and asked me to come out of my hiding place. I knew he was trying to help me so I went. Then I remember being trapped in a house in the middle of the ocean where a huge ass ocean monster with a bazillion razor sharp teeth await to consume us and inside the house was another monster lurking in the shadows, wanting to kill us and then eat us. I had to make sure everyone in the house was safe, including this sweet little girl with beautiful curly hair and an abundance of curiosity which I was sure, the monsters would just love to eat first. I remember feeling so tired but I couldn't rest. I had this strong sense of protectiveness over the people who were with me in my "unit" - An older woman, a young girl, a couple of strangers who I'm pretty sure were as scared as chickens in a KFC farm and, Djimon Honsou. Djimon Honsou...really. Anyway, I'm trying to seal us in a room with beds and a TV, just to keep them entertained while I kept watch. The door wouldn't close. It was changing everytime I tried to close it: It was too big, too small, asymetric, had too many locks, had too many holes, etc. I finally gave up after about 10 tries and just stood guard over the frame. There were other people in the house and I was too paranoid about them and their intentions. And then, it hit me.

I was paranoid of these other people in the house, outside of my "unit". The man who urged me to come out of my hiding place was gone. I felt like he was permanently gone. Outside the room where we were in was my greatuncle who, people tell me, is a traitor and will sell my liver to the highest bidder if he were given a chance. I knew these people who were outside my "unit" and I knew they'd kill me and my "unit". I realized I had to arm myself and my "unit". Guess who was the ammunitions supplier? Alma Moreno.

That pretty much woke me up. Dude, Alma Moreno and Djimon Honsou in one dream? That's super freaky, even for me.

I'm pretty sure this dream is just a visual treat of my emotional and psychological issues. I'll be able to translate it into something more coherent and sensible later on. For now though, I just had to let it out before I attempt to go back to sleep. Because, in the name of Zaldy Zhornack, I do not want to have that dream again. Ever.

I used to like Facebook. I liked the way it's spread out, the applications and the fact that it is a social network that connects you to other people you haven't seen for such a long time.

Now, it's fucking annoying me. It has become trite, shallow and as annoying as a valley girl talking about Leonardo DiCaprio.

Let me level the expectations here: If, after reading this post, you feel that you have to defend yourself and that you're slightly offended by what I've written, it only means that you're part of the annoying crowd I'm writing about. You only have three choices - Suck it up, Admit to it or Bring it on. However, if you laugh and agree, then there's hope for you yet - you still have a fucking life.

That said, let's begin.

***

First off, how many quizzes do you need to understand yourself? Do you seriously need to take 4 million quizzes just to know what kind of Filipino you are? Dude, that's just...pathetic. You don't need a virtual quiz to judge and label you into a category on your race. You should know what kind you are! Then there's the "What kind of bag are you?", "How good are you in bed?", "Are you a true LaSallian/Scholastican/Atenean/Matutean?" and the "What kind of (insert noun here) are you?" It's sad. So sad. You do realize what this means, right? It means you have no life whatsoever and you need to be validated by an virtual quiz. IT'S A VIRTUAL QUIZ! IT SHOULD NOT DEFINE YOU! Posting the results is the cherry on top of the pathetic sundae.

Okay, okay. I hear you saying "But Ian, it's fun! How dare you judge my choice of amusement and entertainment!" Yes, it's fun. Solitaire and Minesweeper is fun too. Watching movies with friends is fun. Watching grass grow can be defined as fun for some people. Understanding that there's life outside of facebook is essential. I'm not judging your choice (albeit poor) for amusement and entertainment. All I'm saying is, if you're Easter Egg hunting on Facebook and not in real life, we gotta talk about an intervention.

The games I get and even encourage. The vampires, YoVille rew and even the farm is pretty cute. Plus, it gives you the option of choosing whether you'd like to be part of it or not. I like that - options.

It's a social networking website, people. It means you SOCIALIZE. You CONNECT and RECONNECT. You don't barrage people with idiotic quiz results of how long your orgasm lasts. Too much freaking information.

With that said, I have now chosen to delete you from my news feed. Trust me, it's for our own good. I need a break from your insanity and you need a break from my sarcasm and cynicism.

I never learn.

Just when I thought everything would be all nice and normal and at least pleasant, it gets worse.

I should be used to it. Trouble and problems are my middle name.