The truth is out there - like WAAAY OUT there

Hey, I have nothing against fat people. I was once fat. Some of the most wonderful people I've met were and are still fat. However, I do get pissed when freaking fat people get freaking delusional about their size. Like fat ass bitches who squeeze themselves on MRT or jeepney seats like they have a 26 inch waist instead of the more realistic measurement of 42 inches.

I mean, come on! Your ass can fit two and a half of my ass and that's saying a lot because I could give Jennifer Lopez a run for her heiney! And for fuck's sake, could you please stop wearing leggings? There should be a law passed about this. Once again, leggings are not appropriate nor are they proper bottoms. No amount of justification can ever make leggings proper bottoms. NEVER. Leggings should never ever be paired with baby doll shirts, hanging or short blouses. Not only does it look horrible, it also makes you look like a poster child on how proper morcon should look like. Giant langgonisa, anyone?

At heto eh nagmamagandang loob lang ako ha? Siguro, pag nawawalan ka na ng circulation sa wrists mo at contrasting na ang kulay ng kamay at braso mo, siguro kailangan mo nang ipa-adjust ang strap ng relo mo.

Speaking of accessories, may binabayan din ang mga toe rings. Sino ba kasi ang punyetang nakaisip na lagyan ng singsing ang mga toes? Magkaroon nga lang ng konting buhangin ang pagitan ng mga toes ko eh naiirita na ako, yun pa kayang toe ring? Isa pa, pag hugis wild luya ang paa mo, siguro naman di yan kayang pagandahin ng toe ring. Kahit (or is it lalo?) na kung ilang kilo ang ilagay mo sa mga toes mo, pramis. Ano yan? Ginagawa mo bang Mr. T ang mga toes mo?

And, to top it all off, naka braces ka pa! Utang na loob, there should be an age cap for people wearing braces! Okay, okay, I know some people really need it pero were you seriously expecting me to take you seriously when you're wearing neon purple rubber bands for your braces and you're 36 years old na and you're even attempting to deliver a presentation sa board of directors?! Kung di ka teenager or si Betty Suarez, puede bang tanggapin mo na lang na sungki ang ipin mo and live with it?

Sabi nga ni Alessandra de Rossi - umarte ayon sa ganda. In this case, umarte ayon sa Body Mass Index.