I was reading an old piece of news about a hostage situation wherein the father took his daughter hostage. I literally had to stop and just take about three steps back because of the sheer weirdness of the headline. The first thing I thought was "If a father takes his own daughter hostage, who will pay the ransom?" Surely there's a good explanation for this, right? I realize that this is no laughing matter and it is truly terrible to be in that situation. However, this is just a truly insane piece of news. What was the guy thinking at that time? What was going through his mind when he decided to take his daughter hostage as a way to get the wife back with him. Yes. He took his daughter hostage in order to get his wife back who left him a year previous to this hostage situation. Di ba? I mean, that's a brilliant idea, Einstein! She'll definitely go back to you and then, while the police are taking you away in handcuffs, she'll realize that she loves you more than ever! Then a unicorn with pink wings will come down and rescue you and take you away in a happy place up in the clouds. You wave to the policemen who are suddenly all obese and seemingly slapstick with their reactions to your successful getaway. It's fool proof! Brilliant! It's like what Jay Mohr said on his sketch on killing your wife. Watch it below Here's an idea: Instead of psychologically and emotionally traumatizing your (soon to be ex) wife and daughter while simultaneously damaging your reputation and character forever, why don't you instead, I dunno, like maybe work hard in your job to prove to her that you can be a responsible and good provider? You can also, if you prefer, try to woo your wife again by doing the exact opposite of what you just did. Or, just for kicks, consider going on with your life. But for the love of Spongebob, don't do this. Not only are you assured that your wife will never want to be with you except under duress but you also get the bonus prize of having a daughter who will never trust you or any men for that matter. This kind of parenting fail kind of makes all the other stuff seem rather trite, doesn't it? So, you didn't make your kid wash his hands before eating, you didn't keep him hostage. So, you let her eat junk food before bed time (although I'm not encouraging you to do so), you didn't tie her hands up with plastic and used her as leverage to get your partner to take you back, right? Dumbass. I hope you get to be the prison bitch.

Last week has been quite difficult for myself and the entire family. My cousin died from complications arising from lupus - a disease that she's been battling for almost 3 years now.

I've had and lost close friends and lovers but this time, it felt like I was losing a sister. I lost a huge part of my life. I felt like I lost myself.

But, like true family fashion, after we've cried and mourned, we've accepted the fact that she's gone and in a better place. Then the jokes and the funnies started coming in - just the way my cousin would want things to be. The wake was like a schizoid's wet dream. We were crying one moment, laughing the next, silent and contemplative one moment and hard and decisive the next. Although we have been aware of her condition for 3 years, we didn't really prepare for the day that she will leave this plane. Maybe because if we did, it would mean that we were accepting the truth that she could be gone. We were still trying to hold on to the smallest hope that a cure would be found.

This whole situation made me realize that I really want to take control of my death. I mean, if I can't control how I'm going to go (although I really would like that privilege), I want to be able to control and have a say on how my funeral is going to be.

I don't want to have a viewing. Once I go, I want my body cremated immediately, especially if I die from a horrific accident. I don't want an autopsy, I don't want to be embalmed. Just chuck me in the pugon and gather my ashes. Bake bread with me, I don't really care, just make sure I'm very well done.

I want to have my "Last Respects" party in a bar. I want everyone who will visit to bring a photo of me with them. They'll post that photo on a wall and all those photographs will be given to my children. The sillier the photo, the better. I want it to be a party. I want people to talk about the good times and the fun times. Anyone who says sad or depressing things will be asked to proceed to the clown make up booth and will be made up like a clown.

Those who are in my LR party would be tasked to do one thing for me, in my memory. I want them to do a totally random act of kindness to a complete stranger. Feed some street kid, visit a complete stranger in the hospital, give roses to women who don't have a date on valentine's day, sing to the old people in a convalescent home - anything! I want them to spread love and kindness. Kung feel niyo mag group effort, go.  

After the party, I want my ashes to be thrown in these places: Bali, Kota Kinabalu, New York City, Paris, Venice and Palawan. Di man ako nakapunta ng Paris at Venice eh at least yung abo ko nandun. Kung di ako kayang dalhin doon, ipadala niyo ang mga abo ko sa mga taong kakilala niyo at ipasaboy niyo ang abo ko.

For now, siguro I'll start living and not just existing.

Not to freak you out, but I guess the whole point is for you to be freaked out.

How "public" do you want to be? I mean, we've seen, read and heard about the horror stories of people being fired from their jobs because of something they've tweeted about or posted on Facebook. Employers now can just look on your Facebook page and make a judgement on how you are as an individual and whether you're being truthful about what you've written on your application.

How public do you want your life to be? With more and more people on social networking sites, how much of your life do you really want other people to see? I'm an actress and a struggling one at that, I would be a total hypocrite if I say that I don't like publicity. Of course I want to be popular! Being popular is the key to success in this industry. Once you're popular, then you can prove that you have range. However, I don't want EVERYTHING about my life to be made available for the entire galaxy to see.
There are certain parts of my life that I would like to keep private (hence this blog as opposed to my official website's blog) and I would like to keep the detailed notes of my mood swings during my period, very much private. Thank you.
Now, having blabbered with all that, have you ever stopped and thought about how "public" you are on the internet?



You're totally freaking out and checking your privacy settings on Twitter, Facebook and FourSquare, aren't you?

In this crazy screwed up world, you have got to find ways to make you laugh. Because if you don't laugh, you cry. And crying is a bummer... So, that said, here are some things that make me smile and laugh:

This is a lengthy read but I swear by the holes on Spongebob's body, it's a very good read.

This was originally for my daughter. I kept it for myself instead because not only was it hilarious, it's cute too.

Early Call Center... hehehe

Only in the Philippines can you see something like this. 

Corporate slaves will understand this and laugh...and then cry right after because it's so true...

 

Maraming katanungan ang ibinunga ng litratong ito. Naghihirap na ba si Jollibee at sumasabit na lang sya? Sobrang bigat at taba na ba nya at di na nya kayang lumipad?

You know, on a really geeky level, Dave and I have figured out a way to make this work. If you re-adjust the keys so that it would hit just one specific assigned spot and then fit the roller with a touch screen layout which is the same as the keys, you can just connect that to the TV so long as the TV has the proper connectors, attache the mouse and VOILA! You have a working "computer typewriter".

Epic facepalm, move over. I'm going to do a Pink Floyd Facepalm.

Pinoy ingenuity at work.

The kids wanted to eat a rainbow. So, I gave them rainbow pancakes. 

This is one of the reasons why I love taking public transportation. Not only do I help save the planet and support local transportation companies and their employees, I also get to see interesting people and what interesting stuff they do while on the bus.

 This man was reading a music sheet. He was also slowly waving his hand, as if he were a conductor. He probably is, or a music teacher at the very least. 

Now see here, Windows. Why do you give me the option to cancel an action when the truth is, you can't cancel the operation?! 

I've pondered about this. A lot of times. Too may times in fact that I have put off making a post about it because I was worried about how the people would react when they read it on my professional website. Then I figured, I SHOULD write this on my professional blog rather than my personal (private) one because if I can make a difference and change the perception of just ONE person, then my job and whatever meager celebrity status I posses has done something right. However, I have to also make a statement that this is MY personal opinion and is not necessarily the opinion of the companies I work for.


For about 3 years now, there is this ongoing "fad" of "going green" and saving the earth. To the credit of these organizations, they've pretty much done everything. They've had Public Service Advertisements, they've had celebrity endorsements, they've had pamphlets and leaflets and even people in malls and underground tunnels stopping you on your lunch break or your commute home, just to talk to you about how you can save the earth. I give them credit for that. It's not an easy task to disseminate information especially about a cause that people do not seem to give a rat's behind about. (Which ironically, they should because in case they've forgotten, this affects them big time too. Last time I checked, you lived in this planet too.) The next and probably the best solution for them, was to ride on something that was popular and tag it with the mission! Ergo, running.

Don't get me wrong, I know people run for several reasons and most of them are for health. The Philippines gave us a lot of honors in the sport and a lot of runners have become excellent role models. This current passion for running for a cause, however, is something that can be defined more as an "event" rather than a "sport" and just like every other event, it becomes a "party" - a place to be, an event to be seen in and seen at, a venue to increase your popularity and social status.

One could say that I'm being too harsh. There truly could be good intentions behind the event. I'm not contesting that. There WERE good intentions and that was the entire broken premise and promise of it. So, they want to save the earth... that's great! How would this event save the earth then? By raising awareness? The official text from their commercials say:

Are you ready to run for Mother Nature?  We are.
In our never ending quest to encourage more Filipinos to go green and save Mother Earth, NGC is staging the 3rd Earth Day Run, the country’s premier race for the environment.
This time, thousands more of students, professionals, athletes, health buffs and celebrities will run in the 3K, 5K, 10K and 21K races, to show Mother Earth we all care about its health in a fun and exciting way.  At NGC, this is who we are.
Get ready to hit the road, run and make a stand for the environment.

Again, I ask, how is this going to encourage more Filipinos to go green and save Mother Earth?  How will running for a race actually save the planet? Their own website does not even answer this question. Previous blog posts and internet mentions of the NatGeo Earth Day run on its first year does not even say anything about how this event will inspire people to save the earth! Don't believe me? Do your own Google search.

Now, I'm honestly curious. How do they measure the effectiveness of the event? Do they say the event is successful when there are significant changes in pollution Is it successful when we see the drastic improvement in the state our waters are in? Do we have the numbers of the people who have changed their lifestyle and have truly decided to Go Green? Or do we measure the success by the number of participants who have (by the way) paid to join this event? Where does the money go? What earth conservation projects does it fund and support? How come nobody's asking these questions before they join?! Kasi, it's all about "Uy, si Ano, pupunta daw sa event na yan! Punta na rin tayo! Baka magkatabi kami ni Kwan, magpapa picture ako! O kaya piktyuran mo ako! Tapos tag mo ako sa FB ha?" Yun...

But the super saiyan kick to the gonads is this picture:

Photo by Francis Pasion

This was from the recently concluded NatGeo Earth Day Run. Yes. See that chick at the right side? Yeah. She's caught in the act of throwing that paper cup right there at the gutter.

Photo from ironbaby.blogspot.com. Read his post here.

Photo from ironbaby.blogspot.com

Come on guys! Get your act together!! This isn't making people aware about their capabilities of saving the planet. This is encouraging them to litter. Did you not think about maybe providing garbage bins at strategic locations at the event? Surely, as people who publicly profess their passion in saving the planet, you must have thought about the possibility that the participants are going to have items that may be potential garbage and that they would require proper waste disposal receptacles, right? As event organizers, it is part of the service contract to ensure that the venue and its vicinity would not be affected by vandalism or litter, right? How is BCG okay with this? Would they give National Geographic the same treatment as with the smaller event organizers when it comes to ensuring the cleanliness of the site?

(Update: The events group did have designated trash bins, according to those who attended the event. Read it here. For those who are curious as to who the event organizers are, it's Event King Corp, as per the comment number 80 on this blog. Also check this Facebook page and read the threads. It is interesting to note that one participant who was there last year also reported that the same thing happened. Another interesting blog post to read, as well as its comments is this one.)

Patrick Moore, an ecologist and environmentalist and oh yeah, the founder of Greenpeace (the grand mother of all environmental groups) couldn't have said it better when he said "The problem with environmentalism is that is is elitist." You can watch his statement here in this video:

 

The fact is, people went to this event. Did they go there in bikes? What mode of transportation did they take? How much carbon emission did these vehicles produce? Did they clean up after themselves? 

Well, to answer that question, The organizers of the run officially came out with this statement from this website (This is a satirical piece from the website. This is not the official statement. Apparently, there is NO OFFICIAL STATEMENT from them):

In a press release addressed to Mother Earth, Juardencio Turcuatico, Territory Director for Fox International Channels – Philippines, said that National Geographic was very sorry for the harm and damage that the event may have caused to her and promises that it wouldn’t happen again in the future.

“It was an event to honor you, like a birthday celebration,” said the letter. “But we somehow botched it and instead of making you, Mama Earth, happy, I think, no, I believe that we have made you even sadder. And for that we are very sorry,”

He added, “It was an oversight on our part. We never thought that the runners would be so irresponsible as to throw them away haphazardly,” he added. “We should have known better than to offer them drinks on cups and bottles.”

May I just strip this apart? The fact that they addressed it to Mother Earth was PR Genius! It made them look like a little kid who made a mistake and promised never to do it again. It would have been effective (and cute) had they been actual 5 years old kids who made an honest mistake. But they're not. They're grown men and women who planned this for almost a year. So, inasmuch as I appreciate the gesture, it ill befits you.


An oversight you say? Really? How much did you pay your event organizers to ensure that this event ran smoothly, INCLUDING preparing for every single possible screw up? I worked in events before. I knew that if I didn't have a plan B or a plan C or even a "super-duper-almost-psychic" plan F, my boss will torture me and then serve my head on a plastic platter to serve to hungry dogs. "We should have known better than to offer them drinks on cups and bottles". Yes, yes you should have. You had a "kit" for sale, right? Or at least the participants got something for their money, right? Well, wouldn't it have been better if you put a reusable water bottle there with your brand on the bottle and then set up refilling stations? But no... you had sponsors to please as well... Eh di sana, inilagay nyo na rin ang logos ng mga sponsors ninyo sa water bottle! Di ba? Hitting two birds with one stone! In this case kasi it was a matter of hitting about 10 thousand paper cups or more plus about hundreds of plastic bottles hitting the gutters and the streets...


But wait... there's more... The organizers also said that they're thinking of moving the venue to either Smokey Mountain or Payatas.

“We are planning to change the venue for NatGeo Earth Run 2013. We are still deciding whether to hold it in Smokey Mountain or in Payatas,” revealed Turcuatico. “This way, participants CAN throw the cups and bottles anywhere along the way.” He also mentioned that they would be using biodegradable materials for the cups, bottles and even the singlets.

Teka lang... So, dadalhin ninyo sa Smokey Mountan or sa Payatas ang event para PUEDENG MAGTAPON ang mga tao? Are you seriously encouraging them to THROW THEIR LITTER EVERYWHERE?! Teka lang ha... Medyo mag e-epic facepalm lang ako. Di ba ang gusto ng mga environmentalists eh BAWASAN ang laman ng Smokey Mountain and ng Payatas? Bakit ninyo dadagdagan? And are you serious about this or are you being sarcastic? Mahirap kasing mag-gauge ng sarcasm pag text lang. Ay...wait...seryoso pala sila. It's a serious joke.

If the number of registrants for next year’s run becomes lower due to the location, National Geographic might change the venue back to either Bonifacio Global City (BGC) or to SM Mall of Asia, but with one minor change.

“We wont be serving drinks in cups or bottles to the runners anymore. Instead, we would be cooperating with the Bureau of Fire Protection (BFP) and the Association of Philippine Volunteer Fire Brigades to provide us with fire trucks,” he revealed. Said fire trucks would be stationed along predetermined points in the race and would pump waters to runners who are thirsty and in need of replenishing. Participants just have to raise their hands and open their mouths before passing by the ‘watering stations’ to indicate their need to be replenished.

Again, this is NOT their official statement but a statement supposedly given to another person by Jude Turcuato. Funny, I knew Jude before. When I was still with that right wing Christian group.

Update: April 24, 8:19 AM. On their official Facebook Page, NGC has given this statement:

NGC supports the Earth Day Run to increase awareness for Earth Day.

Conservation is a shared responsibility and we take it seriously.

While there is a photo taken during the run, NGC certainly does not condone littering and the water stations were cleaned and cleared immediately after the event.

We would like to thank everyone who participated and we are looking into better ways to hydrate the runners in the future.

 I've responded, thanked them for their reply but asked that they answer some basic questions that I have:

Thank you for your response. Would you mind answering a few other questions?

1. How would an event like this actually increase the awareness of people regarding environmental issues? How do you measure the success of this event, in line of course, with its mission of increasing awareness and spreading information?
2. How many participants did you have in total? How many of them arrived at the event in cars? Where did these participants come from? (Data will be used to do a mathematical calculation on how much fossil fuel was consumed on that day)
3. Who are your beneficiaries? I was under the impression that this was an event for a cause. If there are beneficiaries, what do they do? How much, in terms of percentage, do these beneficiaries receive from the earnings of the event. I mean, I completely understand that this event also has its share of expenses but I'm sure you also set aside a certain percentage to your chosen beneficiaries, right?

(Update: I've contacted the event organizer, Event King Corp via their contact us form on their website. I wanted to get their side and get their opinions on the matter. I got this instead:
 

So, their website is down... When I refreshed, this is what I got:

)

I've sent an email to the official email address on their official website and I'm hoping I'll receive a reply. I said hoping but realistically, I don't think they'll answer. I mean, they've already changed the privacy settings of their official Facebook page so that nobody can post on their wall anymore. Read all about it here. )

Update: It's  10:24 PM, about a good hour since I made my last update. They've opened their wall again to comments)
 
 My...Spongebob! I don't know how else to react. Ayoko na...