My official Request

Posted by The Red Devil on Tuesday, May 08, 2012
Last week has been quite difficult for myself and the entire family. My cousin died from complications arising from lupus - a disease that she's been battling for almost 3 years now.

I've had and lost close friends and lovers but this time, it felt like I was losing a sister. I lost a huge part of my life. I felt like I lost myself.

But, like true family fashion, after we've cried and mourned, we've accepted the fact that she's gone and in a better place. Then the jokes and the funnies started coming in - just the way my cousin would want things to be. The wake was like a schizoid's wet dream. We were crying one moment, laughing the next, silent and contemplative one moment and hard and decisive the next. Although we have been aware of her condition for 3 years, we didn't really prepare for the day that she will leave this plane. Maybe because if we did, it would mean that we were accepting the truth that she could be gone. We were still trying to hold on to the smallest hope that a cure would be found.

This whole situation made me realize that I really want to take control of my death. I mean, if I can't control how I'm going to go (although I really would like that privilege), I want to be able to control and have a say on how my funeral is going to be.

I don't want to have a viewing. Once I go, I want my body cremated immediately, especially if I die from a horrific accident. I don't want an autopsy, I don't want to be embalmed. Just chuck me in the pugon and gather my ashes. Bake bread with me, I don't really care, just make sure I'm very well done.

I want to have my "Last Respects" party in a bar. I want everyone who will visit to bring a photo of me with them. They'll post that photo on a wall and all those photographs will be given to my children. The sillier the photo, the better. I want it to be a party. I want people to talk about the good times and the fun times. Anyone who says sad or depressing things will be asked to proceed to the clown make up booth and will be made up like a clown.

Those who are in my LR party would be tasked to do one thing for me, in my memory. I want them to do a totally random act of kindness to a complete stranger. Feed some street kid, visit a complete stranger in the hospital, give roses to women who don't have a date on valentine's day, sing to the old people in a convalescent home - anything! I want them to spread love and kindness. Kung feel niyo mag group effort, go.  

After the party, I want my ashes to be thrown in these places: Bali, Kota Kinabalu, New York City, Paris, Venice and Palawan. Di man ako nakapunta ng Paris at Venice eh at least yung abo ko nandun. Kung di ako kayang dalhin doon, ipadala niyo ang mga abo ko sa mga taong kakilala niyo at ipasaboy niyo ang abo ko.

For now, siguro I'll start living and not just existing.


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