Random Real Life Funnies

So, we had a meeting last Monday and the Bossman came up to me with something to say but it somehow died in his lips.

"Were you about to say something?" I asked.

"Yeah...I forgot."

"You were about to say that I'm your bestest friend in the entire world and that you pledge your undying love to me."

Pause. "No, that wasn't it."

"I'm not your best friend?"

"Not in the whole world, but maybe in the circle of lesbian friends that I've got."

Brows furrowed I retorted "I'm not a lesbian."

He patted my arm condescendingly. "There's still time."

***

"You honestly believe that I've got all my buttons out on display?"

"Yeah..." I snorted. "You make it easy for a blind woman to push all your buttons without even trying."

"I don't have buttons all in a row."

"Please... you're like a freaking accordion!"

***

"Mommy, am I going to get presents this year for my birthday?"

I pursed my lips and pretended to mull this over. "Hmm... I'm not sure..."

She rolled her eyes and said " Never mind. I'll get Grandma to give me presents. She's got more money than you anyway..."

***

My life is a comedy. I love it.