0
Erase, rewind
Posted by The Red Devil
on
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
in
Heartbreaking
Most of the people who know me, and I mean really know me, have initially considered me to be insane.
I will not contest nor deny this. I do have a facade that I have to put up before I let you in the real me. It's something like - if my attitude right now does not faze you, then I don't have to worry about how you will react when you find out about the real me.
I don't like who I really am. To tell you the truth, I'm an insecure, frightened, jaded little girl. I get my strength from my family - my husband who adores me and has never judged me (albeit a few arguments here and there), my children, my mother, my nanie and my very very few friends. I can't afford to let anyone see my true persona. I can't have my fragile spirit be broken.
I never found the need to judge anyone anymore, ever since I had that epiphany about my father. I don't have to pass judgment because I don't want to be judged. I may not understand a few things and a few concepts here and there but I never want to give out a final decision.
I'd rather treat everything like a show on Tivo. I'll just erase and rewind everything.
I will not contest nor deny this. I do have a facade that I have to put up before I let you in the real me. It's something like - if my attitude right now does not faze you, then I don't have to worry about how you will react when you find out about the real me.
I don't like who I really am. To tell you the truth, I'm an insecure, frightened, jaded little girl. I get my strength from my family - my husband who adores me and has never judged me (albeit a few arguments here and there), my children, my mother, my nanie and my very very few friends. I can't afford to let anyone see my true persona. I can't have my fragile spirit be broken.
I never found the need to judge anyone anymore, ever since I had that epiphany about my father. I don't have to pass judgment because I don't want to be judged. I may not understand a few things and a few concepts here and there but I never want to give out a final decision.
I'd rather treat everything like a show on Tivo. I'll just erase and rewind everything.
