Losing...losing...lost

I admit, I haven't been a good friend lately and I haven't been in touch with certain people that I have considered to be very important to me. I have no excuse, I have no alibis and apparently, I have no more friends either. LOL!

Someone once said that friendships, especially those created online (where there's no tangibility) is fleeting and is never permanent. Inasmuch as I'd like to deny it, that's the truth. I guess I'm just a little hurt that even when I thought it to be something special, it really wasn't. Queen of denial, that's me. Cue the applause.

Recently, I found some hilarity in the fact that most people who never gave me the freaking time of day now wants to be my friend just because they saw me on TV or something. That's not how it works. Your recognition of me on the boob tube is not definitive of friendship. Friendship is about me holding your hand and talking to you when you need some talking to; friendship is about you coming over to my place and slapping some sense into me when I'm thinking of doing something stupid. Friendship is about sharing a piece of me that I never share with anyone else.

Recently too, I think I may have lost some friends. Or at least I thought they were my friends. It's quite sad because I really considered them very special to me. But one cannot force another to reciprocate the feelings - be it love or friendship.

I'll be here. I'll still be your friend if you want me.