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Whoa! WTF was that??!!
I've been trying to see my life in a different perspective - courtesy of The Secret. Not that I'm not liking the results, I mean, I do have a more positive outlook now and I honestly feel much better; happier.
I learned a valuable lesson though (as you see, life's rules are learned as you go) and that is, you have to let your subconscious out once in a while and not suppress it, otherwise, it's going to come back and bite you in the ass so hard that you'll have the weirdest dreams.
***
I've been having personal issues - like lots of them. My mom's illness, finances, job stability, my kids' security, my failed marriage, the strained relationship with the ex as we try to be civil for the kids, a failed project or two and everything else in between.
So, I tried to look at these issues and try to see a positive side to it: My mom's responding well to her medications this time, so that's a good sign. Money will always be a problem in this world so I try to do what I can and thank the stronger forces out there (and lady luck), I've been able to make ends meet and then some. My kids are wonderful creatures and they will be who they want to be and they will achieve what they want. I still got a decade and a half to truly worry about their security. Things will be awkward between me and the ex for a while but I'm truly hoping we can see this through as responsible parents and friends.
So far, so good. The mental positivity was transforming into something tangible. Today, however, was just not a good day. My oldest son was scratched by one of the backyard kittens (we knew it was inevitable that at least one of these kittens retaliate) and he's got a fever now. We're observing him, trying to make sure it's not rabies or anything. The thing is, he's very clingy and cranky when he's sick and refuses to be with anyone else but me and his nanny. My mom's very stressed about my finances and everything else that seem to concern me so that's kinda stressful for me too. But I kept thinking "something good's going to come out of this...eventually"
I put the kids to bed and went to bed myself. Almost immediately, I dreamt a horrible dream. I swear, it's like being in one of those horror/action/thriller B movies.
It started with a sense of being lost somewhere, like a mall and I remember leaving my bag behind a counter and going back to get it. After that, it was like I was being transported in a big metal box like an elevator. I remember trying to hide under an old style sofa and this guy found me and asked me to come out of my hiding place. I knew he was trying to help me so I went. Then I remember being trapped in a house in the middle of the ocean where a huge ass ocean monster with a bazillion razor sharp teeth await to consume us and inside the house was another monster lurking in the shadows, wanting to kill us and then eat us. I had to make sure everyone in the house was safe, including this sweet little girl with beautiful curly hair and an abundance of curiosity which I was sure, the monsters would just love to eat first. I remember feeling so tired but I couldn't rest. I had this strong sense of protectiveness over the people who were with me in my "unit" - An older woman, a young girl, a couple of strangers who I'm pretty sure were as scared as chickens in a KFC farm and, Djimon Honsou. Djimon Honsou...really. Anyway, I'm trying to seal us in a room with beds and a TV, just to keep them entertained while I kept watch. The door wouldn't close. It was changing everytime I tried to close it: It was too big, too small, asymetric, had too many locks, had too many holes, etc. I finally gave up after about 10 tries and just stood guard over the frame. There were other people in the house and I was too paranoid about them and their intentions. And then, it hit me.
I was paranoid of these other people in the house, outside of my "unit". The man who urged me to come out of my hiding place was gone. I felt like he was permanently gone. Outside the room where we were in was my greatuncle who, people tell me, is a traitor and will sell my liver to the highest bidder if he were given a chance. I knew these people who were outside my "unit" and I knew they'd kill me and my "unit". I realized I had to arm myself and my "unit". Guess who was the ammunitions supplier? Alma Moreno.
That pretty much woke me up. Dude, Alma Moreno and Djimon Honsou in one dream? That's super freaky, even for me.
I'm pretty sure this dream is just a visual treat of my emotional and psychological issues. I'll be able to translate it into something more coherent and sensible later on. For now though, I just had to let it out before I attempt to go back to sleep. Because, in the name of Zaldy Zhornack, I do not want to have that dream again. Ever.
I learned a valuable lesson though (as you see, life's rules are learned as you go) and that is, you have to let your subconscious out once in a while and not suppress it, otherwise, it's going to come back and bite you in the ass so hard that you'll have the weirdest dreams.
***
I've been having personal issues - like lots of them. My mom's illness, finances, job stability, my kids' security, my failed marriage, the strained relationship with the ex as we try to be civil for the kids, a failed project or two and everything else in between.
So, I tried to look at these issues and try to see a positive side to it: My mom's responding well to her medications this time, so that's a good sign. Money will always be a problem in this world so I try to do what I can and thank the stronger forces out there (and lady luck), I've been able to make ends meet and then some. My kids are wonderful creatures and they will be who they want to be and they will achieve what they want. I still got a decade and a half to truly worry about their security. Things will be awkward between me and the ex for a while but I'm truly hoping we can see this through as responsible parents and friends.
So far, so good. The mental positivity was transforming into something tangible. Today, however, was just not a good day. My oldest son was scratched by one of the backyard kittens (we knew it was inevitable that at least one of these kittens retaliate) and he's got a fever now. We're observing him, trying to make sure it's not rabies or anything. The thing is, he's very clingy and cranky when he's sick and refuses to be with anyone else but me and his nanny. My mom's very stressed about my finances and everything else that seem to concern me so that's kinda stressful for me too. But I kept thinking "something good's going to come out of this...eventually"
I put the kids to bed and went to bed myself. Almost immediately, I dreamt a horrible dream. I swear, it's like being in one of those horror/action/thriller B movies.
It started with a sense of being lost somewhere, like a mall and I remember leaving my bag behind a counter and going back to get it. After that, it was like I was being transported in a big metal box like an elevator. I remember trying to hide under an old style sofa and this guy found me and asked me to come out of my hiding place. I knew he was trying to help me so I went. Then I remember being trapped in a house in the middle of the ocean where a huge ass ocean monster with a bazillion razor sharp teeth await to consume us and inside the house was another monster lurking in the shadows, wanting to kill us and then eat us. I had to make sure everyone in the house was safe, including this sweet little girl with beautiful curly hair and an abundance of curiosity which I was sure, the monsters would just love to eat first. I remember feeling so tired but I couldn't rest. I had this strong sense of protectiveness over the people who were with me in my "unit" - An older woman, a young girl, a couple of strangers who I'm pretty sure were as scared as chickens in a KFC farm and, Djimon Honsou. Djimon Honsou...really. Anyway, I'm trying to seal us in a room with beds and a TV, just to keep them entertained while I kept watch. The door wouldn't close. It was changing everytime I tried to close it: It was too big, too small, asymetric, had too many locks, had too many holes, etc. I finally gave up after about 10 tries and just stood guard over the frame. There were other people in the house and I was too paranoid about them and their intentions. And then, it hit me.
I was paranoid of these other people in the house, outside of my "unit". The man who urged me to come out of my hiding place was gone. I felt like he was permanently gone. Outside the room where we were in was my greatuncle who, people tell me, is a traitor and will sell my liver to the highest bidder if he were given a chance. I knew these people who were outside my "unit" and I knew they'd kill me and my "unit". I realized I had to arm myself and my "unit". Guess who was the ammunitions supplier? Alma Moreno.
That pretty much woke me up. Dude, Alma Moreno and Djimon Honsou in one dream? That's super freaky, even for me.
I'm pretty sure this dream is just a visual treat of my emotional and psychological issues. I'll be able to translate it into something more coherent and sensible later on. For now though, I just had to let it out before I attempt to go back to sleep. Because, in the name of Zaldy Zhornack, I do not want to have that dream again. Ever.
