0
You're the scarecrow.
Posted by The Red Devil
on
Sunday, April 05, 2009
in
Everyday Life,
Fact or fiction?,
Funny,
HIlarious,
Stupid
The problem with idiots is that they're idiots and can't comprehend anything that requires 2 brain cells to process. He, in all terms, definitions and technicalities, is a grandiose moron. Then again, calling him an idiot is probably an insult to all the idiots in the world.
She ponders upon a particular thought and possibility: If pheromones attract certain members of the opposite sex, could it be possible that her pheromones attract idiots to her? If that's the case, she should seriously contemplate on suing her maker of at least quality control because they seriously fucked their job up. Yet, here she was, trying to be nice as humanly possible to the little fucker even though it goes against her better nature; there are times that being nice to her own father went against her better nature - and by George, she's almost reached her annual quota for niceness.
"Are you listening?" he asks
"I am purposely ignoring your complete lack of coherency to save my sanity."
"What?"
"You know, I'm going to do a public service and advise you that you shouldn't do drugs. You already have a loose grip on sanity and reality anyway and the drugs will take you to a very bad place."
"Huh? I don't do drugs?" he was truly perplexed.
"That was meant to be... oh, never mind." She exasperatedly sighed.
"So, anyway..." he continued as the insult rolled off him like water beads on a duck's feathers. "I was asking what you thought of me."
She scoffs. This was way too easy. It would be funny if it weren't annoying. "You seriously look like a guy who'd eat hair and hump dead bodies."
Finally, he gives a reaction similar to that of insulted.
"So, I guess you don't like me."
"You powers of observation astounds me." She hopes that he'd finally get it and will finally leave her alone. No such luck with her though.
"So, what now?"
She takes a deep breath and lets her obvious annoyance roll off her like waves. "First off, stop starting your sentences with 'so'. You don't need to add on to the existing impression of your hapless idiocy. Second, how the fuck did you deduce that my annoyed talking to you equates to an actual liking of you? Third, we are not even on the same wave length because that would actually suggest that you have a brain that emits waves. Lastly, dude, you're short. I'm not freaking Dorothy, munchkin."
He had tears in his eyes. She actually made a full grown (well, in his case...) man cry. All of a sudden, she was bound in a full on body wrap by a vapid diminutive.
"You already have a nickname for me! I'll call you sweetie and you call me munchkin."
"It's a feat to realize that you're survived this age with your sheer obvious impairment."
She ponders upon a particular thought and possibility: If pheromones attract certain members of the opposite sex, could it be possible that her pheromones attract idiots to her? If that's the case, she should seriously contemplate on suing her maker of at least quality control because they seriously fucked their job up. Yet, here she was, trying to be nice as humanly possible to the little fucker even though it goes against her better nature; there are times that being nice to her own father went against her better nature - and by George, she's almost reached her annual quota for niceness.
"Are you listening?" he asks
"I am purposely ignoring your complete lack of coherency to save my sanity."
"What?"
"You know, I'm going to do a public service and advise you that you shouldn't do drugs. You already have a loose grip on sanity and reality anyway and the drugs will take you to a very bad place."
"Huh? I don't do drugs?" he was truly perplexed.
"That was meant to be... oh, never mind." She exasperatedly sighed.
"So, anyway..." he continued as the insult rolled off him like water beads on a duck's feathers. "I was asking what you thought of me."
She scoffs. This was way too easy. It would be funny if it weren't annoying. "You seriously look like a guy who'd eat hair and hump dead bodies."
Finally, he gives a reaction similar to that of insulted.
"So, I guess you don't like me."
"You powers of observation astounds me." She hopes that he'd finally get it and will finally leave her alone. No such luck with her though.
"So, what now?"
She takes a deep breath and lets her obvious annoyance roll off her like waves. "First off, stop starting your sentences with 'so'. You don't need to add on to the existing impression of your hapless idiocy. Second, how the fuck did you deduce that my annoyed talking to you equates to an actual liking of you? Third, we are not even on the same wave length because that would actually suggest that you have a brain that emits waves. Lastly, dude, you're short. I'm not freaking Dorothy, munchkin."
He had tears in his eyes. She actually made a full grown (well, in his case...) man cry. All of a sudden, she was bound in a full on body wrap by a vapid diminutive.
"You already have a nickname for me! I'll call you sweetie and you call me munchkin."
"It's a feat to realize that you're survived this age with your sheer obvious impairment."
