1
In between
I miss Brewski. I feel like my evil side is slowly being turned into good. I don't like that. I'm built for evil, blood and gore not rainbows, butterflies and unicorns. Ugh.
Just recently, I actually felt like shit when I was a bit rude to my grandmother. This is the back story: My grandmother has 7 kids and 4 of them are from different men. My nanie, mom, Tito Joy and Tita Kuks are the ones that have the same set of parents. My alcoholic uncle is still undetermined. The other aunt - the one who breeds like a rabbit - is from another one and the youngest uncle is from another one. It seems that auntie-breeds-like-a-rabbit is the heir apparent to my grandmother's throne.
Auntie-breeds-like-a-rabbit and I had this big fight and falling out sometime 2003. I thought she was schmoozing too much money from my mother and she thought I was a bitch. We were both right. So I call her out and tell her to go to hell and we've never spoken since. Her kids, however, do speak to me when they need money.
Wonderful.
Anyway, one of her daughters decide to go to Baguio to work and asks for some money from my mother. Mother gives it to her, of course and I don't say anything because I thought I'd give her the money too, so long as she stays in Baguio for good. Now, a week later, she comes by and asks for more money because she tells us that she had to give the previous money to auntie-breeds-like-a-rabbit (her mother) because her siblings needed it. Mother gives her money AGAIN. Then, another week later, I get a call from my grandmother and she tells me that same kid needs money again for some fucking paper.
I call my mother and tell her about the call. She tells me that she already gave money and that my aunt (older sister of mother) gave her money too. Aha! Interesting...
Grandmother calls again and this was how the conversation went:
"Tumawag ka daw? Nasa banyo kasi ako eh" (You called? I was in the bathroom)
"Opo. Sabi ni mommy binigyan na daw po siya ng pera. Binigyan din daw siya ni nanie. Nung isang linggo po, pumunta sya dito para humingi ng pera at binigyan siya ni mommy. Nung isang linggo bago nun, binigyan na din po siya" (Mother told me that she already gave her money. Nanie even gave her money too. Last week and the week before that, she had money that came from my mother as well)
"Ay ganun? Kasi kailangan daw niya para sa papeles niya eh" (Oh, is that so? But she needs it for her papers)
"Eh bakit di na lang po siya humingi sa nanay niya at di sa nanay ko?" (Well, why doesn't she ask her mother for money instead of mine?)
"Maliit lang kasi sweldo ng nanay niya eh" (Her mother's salary isn't enough)
"Eh bakit kasi nag anak ng ganun kadami? D ba niya naisip yun? Eh ako nga tatlo lang anak ko eh hirap na hirap na ako. Tapos kukunan niyo pa ng pera ang nanay ko na sana ay para sa mga apo niya, para sa akin!" (Well why the hell did she breed like a rabbit? I have three kids and I already feel the strain. Then you go ask for money from my mother when she could have very well used that money on her grandchildren!)
I immediately regretted saying that. She fell silent and I had to make a save.
"Lola, sana po naiintindiihan ninyo na wala akong trabaho ngayon. May mga problema din ang nanay ko sa pera. Marami din kaming utang na babayaran. Sana naiintindihan ninyo yun" (Grandma, I hope you can understand the situation. I'm out of a job and we also have bills to pay. We have money issues too. I hope you can understand that.)
"Oo. Sige na." (Yes. Alright)
And she puts down the phone.
***
You know what's worse than having a conscience? Having one that comes a little too late.
***
I also hate it when my friends fight. I want all of my friends to be ok.
I'm sure it was just a silly misunderstanding. One was hurt, the other reacted too much. I wish they could just sit down and talk about it.
***
I hate being in between jobs.
I hate being in between friends.
I hate being stuck in between sanity and a bottle of L-dopa
I hate being in between.
Just recently, I actually felt like shit when I was a bit rude to my grandmother. This is the back story: My grandmother has 7 kids and 4 of them are from different men. My nanie, mom, Tito Joy and Tita Kuks are the ones that have the same set of parents. My alcoholic uncle is still undetermined. The other aunt - the one who breeds like a rabbit - is from another one and the youngest uncle is from another one. It seems that auntie-breeds-like-a-rabbit is the heir apparent to my grandmother's throne.
Auntie-breeds-like-a-rabbit and I had this big fight and falling out sometime 2003. I thought she was schmoozing too much money from my mother and she thought I was a bitch. We were both right. So I call her out and tell her to go to hell and we've never spoken since. Her kids, however, do speak to me when they need money.
Wonderful.
Anyway, one of her daughters decide to go to Baguio to work and asks for some money from my mother. Mother gives it to her, of course and I don't say anything because I thought I'd give her the money too, so long as she stays in Baguio for good. Now, a week later, she comes by and asks for more money because she tells us that she had to give the previous money to auntie-breeds-like-a-rabbit (her mother) because her siblings needed it. Mother gives her money AGAIN. Then, another week later, I get a call from my grandmother and she tells me that same kid needs money again for some fucking paper.
I call my mother and tell her about the call. She tells me that she already gave money and that my aunt (older sister of mother) gave her money too. Aha! Interesting...
Grandmother calls again and this was how the conversation went:
"Tumawag ka daw? Nasa banyo kasi ako eh" (You called? I was in the bathroom)
"Opo. Sabi ni mommy binigyan na daw po siya ng pera. Binigyan din daw siya ni nanie. Nung isang linggo po, pumunta sya dito para humingi ng pera at binigyan siya ni mommy. Nung isang linggo bago nun, binigyan na din po siya" (Mother told me that she already gave her money. Nanie even gave her money too. Last week and the week before that, she had money that came from my mother as well)
"Ay ganun? Kasi kailangan daw niya para sa papeles niya eh" (Oh, is that so? But she needs it for her papers)
"Eh bakit di na lang po siya humingi sa nanay niya at di sa nanay ko?" (Well, why doesn't she ask her mother for money instead of mine?)
"Maliit lang kasi sweldo ng nanay niya eh" (Her mother's salary isn't enough)
"Eh bakit kasi nag anak ng ganun kadami? D ba niya naisip yun? Eh ako nga tatlo lang anak ko eh hirap na hirap na ako. Tapos kukunan niyo pa ng pera ang nanay ko na sana ay para sa mga apo niya, para sa akin!" (Well why the hell did she breed like a rabbit? I have three kids and I already feel the strain. Then you go ask for money from my mother when she could have very well used that money on her grandchildren!)
I immediately regretted saying that. She fell silent and I had to make a save.
"Lola, sana po naiintindiihan ninyo na wala akong trabaho ngayon. May mga problema din ang nanay ko sa pera. Marami din kaming utang na babayaran. Sana naiintindihan ninyo yun" (Grandma, I hope you can understand the situation. I'm out of a job and we also have bills to pay. We have money issues too. I hope you can understand that.)
"Oo. Sige na." (Yes. Alright)
And she puts down the phone.
***
You know what's worse than having a conscience? Having one that comes a little too late.
***
I also hate it when my friends fight. I want all of my friends to be ok.
I'm sure it was just a silly misunderstanding. One was hurt, the other reacted too much. I wish they could just sit down and talk about it.
***
I hate being in between jobs.
I hate being in between friends.
I hate being stuck in between sanity and a bottle of L-dopa
I hate being in between.
