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Am I?

Posted by The Red Devil on Friday, August 31, 2007 in , ,
A very good friend of mine told me this:

"Sometimes, you scare me. Especially when you're pissed. I'm very very scared"

This was said a couple of days ago and I'm still thinking about it.

***

A college buddy once described me as histrionic. Perhaps there's some truth in that, perhaps it's all true. Am I really that evil? Am I really that much of a bitch? Reading my previous entries, I might be inclined to say I am. (Who the fuck am I kidding? Of course I am!)

Truth be told, I don't know anymore if there's some good in me. Maybe I took on the title of "devil" too much to heart. I'm not sure if I'm a good person.

I don't know how to be nice. I really don't. It's either I'm nice to you because I like and respect you, or I will simply ignore you because there's really nothing to say. I don't know how to be sociable. I've chosen to live in my own little world where I like to be with people I like to be with.

It's scary that I don't know how to be nice. Isn't this supposed to be intrinsic? Isn't this incorporated in our DNA or something? Does this mean my DNA is held together by evil?

***

How did I get here? I never even noticed these changes. I remember being a nice person. I remember a pigtailed kid with glasses who was nice to everyone.

Now, I can't even sit still in the MRT without having to think and comment about someone. I know this for a fact.

***

Can the devil change?

2 Comments


why so angry?

Anonymous says:

hay naku it's a tough job but someone's got to do it. saka evil is relative. --pamstr

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