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All things unsaid, 14 years later

Posted by The Red Devil on Thursday, June 28, 2007 in ,
We became friends after the fact that Paeng decided to make me look human. When I was hanging out with Oliver Gascon (which I don't think you'd remember who he was), and the cool group (which had you and the rest of the pretty and popular ones) never gave me the time of day.

Do you remember the time I tripped in the student center and split my pants? Everyone laughed at me, including you. And let's not start with Migs Basilio. You knew I had the biggest crush on him and you never even talked to me after you guys started dating. Pepper's death was the biggest blow to me. Migs was about to comfort me when you pulled him away. Do you know how pathetic and lonely and humiliated I felt? I never went to Pepper's funeral, not because my mom won't let me. It was because I didn't want to see you and Migs there.

Lia, you and I... we're somewhere in between.

You leave the country without letting me know (I had to find out from Rita) and now, years and children after, we're still somewhere in between. We're good. We're better than good, we've got history.

I do thank you for being my friend at one time. I still remember the trips to your house (I still could smell the pepper in the air). You introduced me to creamed corn with butter. You tried to make me appreciate wrestling (I do now. can you believe Chris Benoit?)

What I write in here, what I say, does not mean I ostracize everyone else. Some people get the spotlight, some people are left to obscurity and some I leave to my own memory because I'm selfish and I don't want to share the best memories.

I was watching Ugly Betty and the episode was about Betty being too hard on her friends. I think I was too hard on you. I think I should have talked to you about how I felt rather than keeping it in. I'm sorry if I hurt you too.

4 Comments

Redjeulle says:
5:50 PM

true story?

incubus says:
10:38 PM

I don't remember you splitting your pants. I never would have laughed. You should know that. I only got there during sophomore year. I did not know he was going to comfort you. honestly. You think, that when people talked about you behind your back and made fun of you, that I would joing in or something? I defended you. You think that when he kissed me, and you walked right in the classroom that I didn't feel bad about it? I went after you. But you disappeared. He told me to let it go.

As for me leaving for the states, I found out two weeks before I left what was going on with my daad. Everyone was against me at that time. You have no idea what i felt or what I went through. Everyone condemned me for talking to the maids. Even Imay got involved. What i couldn't understand is that Jay hurt you guys a lot more thatn I did. Jay has said alot of hurtful things to you guys and I make that one mistake, and everone was ready to crucify me for that. I though it best to just leave. No one would have cared anyway. By writing to Rita, I knew she would tell you guys. And she did. All throughout high school, you were the only one I could talk to. But then you, and everyone else turned your backs on me. So yeah, I was hurt, I had no one to talk to, and I never looked back when I left.

Everytime I talk about my high school experience to my hubby and my in-laws, your name is always there. because you made it fun. And I had a blast because we were always in the same class. You have no idea what people were saying to me. But you know what? I didn't care. I felt that they had no right telling me who to hang out with. I enjoyed being around you. To me, that's all that mattered.

The Red Devil says:
3:57 AM

Lia, it was sophomore year when I split my pants.

Don't think that just because I didn't write about you, it means I've forgotten you. Like I said, some people get the spotlight, some I keep to myself. I never write about Rita here (with the exception of now) because I wanted to keep her all to myself, as I do with you.

I like the fact that we (yes, you and me) have better lives now. We're communicating.

Jay, in all the things he had done, is still Jay. Yes, he did a lot of bad things, some long ago and some, maybe recently but you know why he's still there? Because he tried to make up for it.

I didn't turn my back on you. You disappeared. I needed space to think and you left the country.

Let's stop. We've aired out feelings long kept. I just want to have my friend back.

*Hug* And for the record, you DO matter.

incubus says:
7:37 AM

But how do you exactly make up to people who wanted nothing to do with you? that's what I felt. Besides, don't think I know how to do that. never had to. usually we just pick up where we left off. I've always been here. An e-mail away. Or a message away. I just felt that you never cared. I know, "tama na drama', "sniff,sniff"

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