Heartbreak at its best

There are times when I seriously consider that I'm going to have a very terrible nervous breakdown soon.

Just this morning, I totally lost it with Zac and Tom when they took one bite from the mamon and the sausage they were eating and after scrunching their face from the taste, they just chucked the food in the garbage. I was furious at them and took them to one corner and told them that there are children out there who are dying of starvation. It doesn't give them any right to waste food. I wanted to let them know how heartbreaking it is to see the kids I see everyday who knock on David's door to have a sandwich and a glass of clean water. Every day, the number of these kids get bigger. We started with one and now there are at least a dozen coming in everyday to ask for a bite to eat.

We don't have the heart to turn them away. Where will they go? How will they eat? They've started talking to us and opened up about the true harshness they experience everyday - domestic violence on their mother and themselves, the sheer number of siblings they have with no money coming in, their childhood ripped from them as soon as they were born. So, everyday, we let them come. We let them sit at our daybed, watch some cartoons and we feed them.

I can't stand it. What the hell are we doing?! What is the government doing? What are these so called "caring" church leaders doing? This is getting too deep into my skin that it's affecting me way too much. I wanted my kids to be aware but I never wanted to bite their heads off. It isn't their fault after all. They are the lucky ones born into this kind of a lifestyle. True, we don't have millions nor do we have corporations or companies but we eat what we want when we want it, we take vacations and we have a comfortable cool room at night to sleep in. That is more than luxurious enough for those kids we see everyday.

I need your help. I need you to do something to change the world. If our leaders don't care, then we should. If they're going to wait for red tape and bureaucracy to make things happen, I say fuck that. YOU CAN DO SOMETHING. YOU CAN DO IT NOW.

It's all about more money for us so we can buy stuff we really don't need but would render us cool with our friends. Trust me, if you need cool and expensive gadgets to impress your friends, you've got fucked up friends. Get a new set of friends. It's all about more, more and more for us. For those kids who we feed everyday, it's about "making it through one more day". Surely, at age 5, you shouldn't be exposed to that.

MAKE THAT CHANGE. START NOW. It's easy. Just open your eyes to what you really see and what you can really do. Feed a child on the street. Give someone a hug. Smile. Sincerely ask about how someone is and genuinely listen. Love your children. Kiss your parents. Say I love you and mean it.