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There's a what?
I'm pretty much sauced last night and I'm not exactly in the right state of mind when I picked up the ringing monstrosity called a phone this morning. My aunt was on the other end of the line, sounding quite panicky.
"Have you seen the news on TV? There's an asteroid that landed on New York's Central Park!"
Ok. Fuzzy feelings gone and replaced by shock and panic. "There's a what now?"
"An asteroid! It's huge! They've got shots of it from a helicopter! Turn on your TV and see!"
I blindly fumble for the remote and tune in to CNN. But it's a story on a hamster, or gerbil, or some small hairy rodent. "What channel are you watching? There's nothing on CNN."
"Wait, let me check it. Oh my goodness! It's very scary! *screams off the phone to ask my cousin what channel she's watching. Cousin says something back* Ok, I got it. We're watching Cinemax."
I did a very sound facepalm, which in retrospect, I shouldn't have done because it aggravated my hangover headache. In a very patronizing tone, I said "Cinemax? Are you sure?"
"Yeah! Oh my god! That asteroid is big! What if it hits the Philippines?"
I groaned. "It won't hit the Philippines, tita..."
"How do you know?"
"It won't hit the Philippines, tita because you're watching a movie. Cinemax is a movie channel." It's like talking to a three year old sometimes.
"Ha? But is says here that it's live! News from New York!"
"It's called visual graphics and realistic representation of a fictional situation."
*silence*
"I'm going back to bed, tita. I love you. Bye!"
***
Now that I'm fed and caffeined up, it's pretty darn hilarious. I can't wait to see her again in the next family reunion. I'm never going to let her forget about this.
"Have you seen the news on TV? There's an asteroid that landed on New York's Central Park!"
Ok. Fuzzy feelings gone and replaced by shock and panic. "There's a what now?"
"An asteroid! It's huge! They've got shots of it from a helicopter! Turn on your TV and see!"
I blindly fumble for the remote and tune in to CNN. But it's a story on a hamster, or gerbil, or some small hairy rodent. "What channel are you watching? There's nothing on CNN."
"Wait, let me check it. Oh my goodness! It's very scary! *screams off the phone to ask my cousin what channel she's watching. Cousin says something back* Ok, I got it. We're watching Cinemax."
I did a very sound facepalm, which in retrospect, I shouldn't have done because it aggravated my hangover headache. In a very patronizing tone, I said "Cinemax? Are you sure?"
"Yeah! Oh my god! That asteroid is big! What if it hits the Philippines?"
I groaned. "It won't hit the Philippines, tita..."
"How do you know?"
"It won't hit the Philippines, tita because you're watching a movie. Cinemax is a movie channel." It's like talking to a three year old sometimes.
"Ha? But is says here that it's live! News from New York!"
"It's called visual graphics and realistic representation of a fictional situation."
*silence*
"I'm going back to bed, tita. I love you. Bye!"
***
Now that I'm fed and caffeined up, it's pretty darn hilarious. I can't wait to see her again in the next family reunion. I'm never going to let her forget about this.
