2
What I've learned from my kids
Some of my friends wanted to have kids -plural not singular. Every time I ask them why they want to have children, they say a lot of different things.
"Because I think I'm ready"
"Because I want to"
"Because I think kids will make me mature and more responsible"
"Because I think I'm ready to get serious about my life"
"You're a mom of three and I think you're doing a great job. I mean, how hard could it be?"
Lemme tell you, being a mom of 3, all these reasons are bull crap. You can never be ready to have kids. You may want to have kids while they're just a concept but trust me, you might change your mind when that concept is reality and you have to make diaper changes, vomit patrol and monster hunting at 3 in the freaking morning. Having kids will not make you more mature and responsible - they will make you more paranoid and will reduce to to screaming fits half of the time, and finally, having kids will teach you not to sweat the small stuff, such as walking into a presentation with the biggest client with vomit stains on your jacket.
And I swear to the higher powers out there, it's not easy. It's never easy.
We have instances where in we think about how your kids would look like if you and so and so mated. Please, having kids shouldn't be some sort of erotic arts and crafts. It's the most beautiful but the most frustrating situation to find yourself in. I mean, take my twins for example. I get them two of the same toy or item so that they wouldn't have to fight over it. But just like their mother who can tell these identical mini destructo-boys apart, apparently, they can tell their identical toys apart as well. They were fighting over a helmet that supposedly one owned but the other was claiming. After 5 minutes of cajoling and bribing and threatening, I was reduced to screaming: "It's the same fudging helmet!!!"
There you go: The devil was brought to her knees by a couple of two year olds.
***
Don't get me wrong. I do love and adore my kids. In fact, they're more entertaining than television. My daughter, the beautiful genius (oh, and that's another thing kids do to you, they make sure that your sense of objectivity and justice are skewed. For you, your kids are the only beautiful kids in the world. All the other kids look like squished bananas), asked me a very valid question albeit weird.
"Mommy, is the Tyrannosaurus Rex the king of all dinosaurs?"
"Yes sweetie"
"So, it's supposed to be really scary, right?"
"Yes, sweetums"
"Then why do I find him funny? I mean, he's supposed to be scary but he's got very small arms and hands. I don't find that scary at all. All he's got is teeth."
Then there was that time that I was on the night shift. I was sleeping during the day when my older son opened the bedroom door and shouted "Mommy, are you sleeping?"
Groggily I said "Yes"
"Then why are you talking?"
I was reduced to tears...
***
It's never easy having kids. You sacrifice a lot of things - and not just the latest Jimmy Choo's or the Prada fairy bag. You sacrifice peace of mind, sleep and rest. Every time you read something in the news about how this kid was done in by a step parent, you shudder and thank the higher powers that your partner is alive and is the best father/mother there is. You start thinking about what if that was your kid and start thinking about every kind of precaution to prevent any bad things from happening.
You start thinking about their potential and what they could be. You imagine them to be presidents, astronauts, scientists that could cure cancer or the common cold, and yet, you know deep in your every fiber that you'd be just as happy if they decide to be a newspaper boy or a mechanic because you know that they'll be the best at their chosen profession.
You love to watch them sleep because children can entertain you even when they're not doing anything. You watch them go to sleep because it's the most beautiful and peaceful thing in the world you've ever seen. You love to hear the belly laugh they give off when you tickle them or when they've seen something for the very first time.
The reward comes when they say "Mommy" or "Daddy" for the first time. Their kisses should be bottled and sold because they can take away all the stress you've had for the day. Their sticky armed hugs are the best solution for a very bad day. Devil may care that the apocalypse should arrive in a few minutes, so long as they're hugging you and kissing you and telling you that "You are the bestest Mommy ever!"
***
Please don't have kids just because of your shallow reasons. I admit I wasn't ready to have kids when I got pregnant with my daughter, but truth be told now, I wouldn't dream of not having them in my life.
Children are the scariest, most rewarding, most loving and ungrateful creatures.
I wouldn't want it any other way.
"Because I think I'm ready"
"Because I want to"
"Because I think kids will make me mature and more responsible"
"Because I think I'm ready to get serious about my life"
"You're a mom of three and I think you're doing a great job. I mean, how hard could it be?"
Lemme tell you, being a mom of 3, all these reasons are bull crap. You can never be ready to have kids. You may want to have kids while they're just a concept but trust me, you might change your mind when that concept is reality and you have to make diaper changes, vomit patrol and monster hunting at 3 in the freaking morning. Having kids will not make you more mature and responsible - they will make you more paranoid and will reduce to to screaming fits half of the time, and finally, having kids will teach you not to sweat the small stuff, such as walking into a presentation with the biggest client with vomit stains on your jacket.
And I swear to the higher powers out there, it's not easy. It's never easy.
We have instances where in we think about how your kids would look like if you and so and so mated. Please, having kids shouldn't be some sort of erotic arts and crafts. It's the most beautiful but the most frustrating situation to find yourself in. I mean, take my twins for example. I get them two of the same toy or item so that they wouldn't have to fight over it. But just like their mother who can tell these identical mini destructo-boys apart, apparently, they can tell their identical toys apart as well. They were fighting over a helmet that supposedly one owned but the other was claiming. After 5 minutes of cajoling and bribing and threatening, I was reduced to screaming: "It's the same fudging helmet!!!"
There you go: The devil was brought to her knees by a couple of two year olds.
***
Don't get me wrong. I do love and adore my kids. In fact, they're more entertaining than television. My daughter, the beautiful genius (oh, and that's another thing kids do to you, they make sure that your sense of objectivity and justice are skewed. For you, your kids are the only beautiful kids in the world. All the other kids look like squished bananas), asked me a very valid question albeit weird.
"Mommy, is the Tyrannosaurus Rex the king of all dinosaurs?"
"Yes sweetie"
"So, it's supposed to be really scary, right?"
"Yes, sweetums"
"Then why do I find him funny? I mean, he's supposed to be scary but he's got very small arms and hands. I don't find that scary at all. All he's got is teeth."
Then there was that time that I was on the night shift. I was sleeping during the day when my older son opened the bedroom door and shouted "Mommy, are you sleeping?"
Groggily I said "Yes"
"Then why are you talking?"
I was reduced to tears...
***
It's never easy having kids. You sacrifice a lot of things - and not just the latest Jimmy Choo's or the Prada fairy bag. You sacrifice peace of mind, sleep and rest. Every time you read something in the news about how this kid was done in by a step parent, you shudder and thank the higher powers that your partner is alive and is the best father/mother there is. You start thinking about what if that was your kid and start thinking about every kind of precaution to prevent any bad things from happening.
You start thinking about their potential and what they could be. You imagine them to be presidents, astronauts, scientists that could cure cancer or the common cold, and yet, you know deep in your every fiber that you'd be just as happy if they decide to be a newspaper boy or a mechanic because you know that they'll be the best at their chosen profession.
You love to watch them sleep because children can entertain you even when they're not doing anything. You watch them go to sleep because it's the most beautiful and peaceful thing in the world you've ever seen. You love to hear the belly laugh they give off when you tickle them or when they've seen something for the very first time.
The reward comes when they say "Mommy" or "Daddy" for the first time. Their kisses should be bottled and sold because they can take away all the stress you've had for the day. Their sticky armed hugs are the best solution for a very bad day. Devil may care that the apocalypse should arrive in a few minutes, so long as they're hugging you and kissing you and telling you that "You are the bestest Mommy ever!"
***
Please don't have kids just because of your shallow reasons. I admit I wasn't ready to have kids when I got pregnant with my daughter, but truth be told now, I wouldn't dream of not having them in my life.
Children are the scariest, most rewarding, most loving and ungrateful creatures.
I wouldn't want it any other way.
