Gawd...

Heard two teenage boys while taking an escalator

Boy 1: Uy! Sex and the City showing na! Porno kaya yan?

Boy 2: Malamang Hardcore yan, biro mo, sa city ba naman gawin!

***

While playing catchphrase, the girl was making her team guess the word - endangered species

Girl: What do you call an animal or plant that's about to be extinct?

Guy: (In the loudest voice ever) FOSSIL!!!

(I don't think you should be worried about the poor hapless plant or animal anymore, afterall, its fate is already SET IN STONE!!!)

***

I was interviewing an agent at work...

Me: So, what's your nickname?

Her: Vappy.

Me: Vappy?

Her: like the bumfire sleyer.

Me: Oh.

***

They add entertainment to my otherwise dreadful day.