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Dating, shmating
The most wonderful part of being married is the fact that I'm no longer out there dating. The horrors of dating make me very very grateful that I'm over and done with that. It's not that I'm not "date-able", it's just the concept of dating invokes fear in me that only snakes, frogs, the boogeyman and my father in drag can emulate.
I hate having to go through the motions only to be sorely disappointed in the end.
Horror story #1
I was set up on a date with this guy. My friend dated him and thought that she should share the experience. I'm not one to share men but I must have been off my rocker when I said yes.
The premise was that this guy is drop dead gorgeous. He's from a prominent old money family and was studying international affairs in a prestigious university in preparation for him being a diplomat. He had his own car (a huge thing at that time) and was a very attentive date. Sounds good so far so I decided to say to go for it.
He picked me up at home and promptly gave an unexpected but much appreciated look of awestruckness. Now, maybe it was me thinking his breath was taken away from him upon the sight of me or it could really be that it was complete disgusted shock that he tried to pass on as awestruckness. In any case, he was really cute when he did that.
The date went on smoothly - dinner at his father's country club, drinks at his uncle's bar and coffee at his aunt's cafe. I was waiting my turn at the ladies' room when he saw me slightly primping in front of the mirror.
He casually strode to be by my side, looking at me through the mirror and asked:
"How would you feel if I told you I think you'd be my future second wife?"
Wow. I wasn't good enough to be the first wife? I answered:
"You might get an answer when you grow a brain first"
He took me home and I never saw him again.
Horror story #2
The guy was relatively attractive but he was smart (or at least I thought so at that time). He was working as a paralegal/intern for a huge law firm in Makati. He was moderately funny and seemed to appreciate sarcasm. But then, he had to ask me this question.
"What don't you like about yourself?"
"Honestly?"
"Candor is appreciated." Wow. He knows what candor means and used it in the proper context.
"My breasts. Or lack thereof."
Here's a tip for all you men out there. This is usually a trick question/statement. Remember when you thought opposite day was fun? Well, when women say derogatory things about themselves, you have to respond in the complete opposite. So, the retort I was expecting was something along the lines of 'your breasts are fine. I like them.' But that's not what I got.
"Yeah, you're flat as a board. Maybe you should consider a nose job too."
I would've loved to give him a reason to get a nose job.
***
Dating is so overrated. It's a waste of time.
I've won the battle of dating. I got myself a wonderful man that I take out on dates on the weekends. I'm his first wife and only wife, and he loves my missing breasts - although he still has a search party out there looking for them.
Life is sweet.
I hate having to go through the motions only to be sorely disappointed in the end.
Horror story #1
I was set up on a date with this guy. My friend dated him and thought that she should share the experience. I'm not one to share men but I must have been off my rocker when I said yes.
The premise was that this guy is drop dead gorgeous. He's from a prominent old money family and was studying international affairs in a prestigious university in preparation for him being a diplomat. He had his own car (a huge thing at that time) and was a very attentive date. Sounds good so far so I decided to say to go for it.
He picked me up at home and promptly gave an unexpected but much appreciated look of awestruckness. Now, maybe it was me thinking his breath was taken away from him upon the sight of me or it could really be that it was complete disgusted shock that he tried to pass on as awestruckness. In any case, he was really cute when he did that.
The date went on smoothly - dinner at his father's country club, drinks at his uncle's bar and coffee at his aunt's cafe. I was waiting my turn at the ladies' room when he saw me slightly primping in front of the mirror.
He casually strode to be by my side, looking at me through the mirror and asked:
"How would you feel if I told you I think you'd be my future second wife?"
Wow. I wasn't good enough to be the first wife? I answered:
"You might get an answer when you grow a brain first"
He took me home and I never saw him again.
Horror story #2
The guy was relatively attractive but he was smart (or at least I thought so at that time). He was working as a paralegal/intern for a huge law firm in Makati. He was moderately funny and seemed to appreciate sarcasm. But then, he had to ask me this question.
"What don't you like about yourself?"
"Honestly?"
"Candor is appreciated." Wow. He knows what candor means and used it in the proper context.
"My breasts. Or lack thereof."
Here's a tip for all you men out there. This is usually a trick question/statement. Remember when you thought opposite day was fun? Well, when women say derogatory things about themselves, you have to respond in the complete opposite. So, the retort I was expecting was something along the lines of 'your breasts are fine. I like them.' But that's not what I got.
"Yeah, you're flat as a board. Maybe you should consider a nose job too."
I would've loved to give him a reason to get a nose job.
***
Dating is so overrated. It's a waste of time.
I've won the battle of dating. I got myself a wonderful man that I take out on dates on the weekends. I'm his first wife and only wife, and he loves my missing breasts - although he still has a search party out there looking for them.
Life is sweet.
