Emily Saliers must've known me from before...

"I am alone in a hotel room tonight
I squeeze the sky out
but there's not a star appears
begin my studies with this paper and this pencil
and I'm working through the grammar of my fears..."

I love this line from the song "Language or the kiss" by the Indigo girls. I'm starting to think that they've made a pact with some devil to have that enviable gift of writing songs.

Literally, this is so me right now - well, it has been me for the past week.

***

The funny thing is, I've been known to be independent and I have the tendency to do things on my own. However, I've never felt like I was alone until now.

***

I felt this way when I was in Australia. I succumbed to depression, and allowed myself to be dragged to the cesspools of sorrow.

I feel like this now, but you have to add a few other ingredients to the mix - like confusion, frustration, aggravation and absolution.

***

I know this isn't like Australia. I know that this time around, I don't have angry white people planning their next witch hunt against me. I know that I have someone to talk to when I need to. I know that I'm coming back to something so beautiful that I welcome the longing and anticipation.

My kids will be tortured with lots of hugs and sloppy kisses. My hubby will...well, you know...

I still have a silver lining. I can see it shining.