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Marriage, mistakes, making up
When I was a little girl, way up until high school, I've been dreaming of a perfect wedding. The gown, the flowers, the guests! It was a wedding that I wanted. Most women want that too. But then, they just want the wedding and not the marriage.
Marriage is about two people. Most of the time we get so caught up in ourselves that we forget to think that we have other people to take care of. Some people I've met and know are married but are still carrying on with sordid yet discreet love affairs. It's become a lifestyle. It's sad to think about it, but there's really nothing else you can do about it but watch them crash and burn. Some of them think it's not cheating but sex. It's a lustful action that cannot be defined or put in the same level as cheating - so they say. I don't know. You can call a spade a hoe but I just call them as I see them. No matter how hard they try to justify it, it's just plain old adultery to me.
Which makes me think, has marriage become something this shallow? Is the sanctity of marriage a thing of the past, like rotary phones and manual typewriters? Years ago, when you say that you've been married of 3 years, people will respond as "3 years? You're still a newlywed!" Now, if you tell people that you've been married for 3 years, "Wow! 3 years?! That's like a century!" (No, it's three years, you jackass) The media has distorted the concept of marriage. 20 years ago, people wanted the family and marriage of the Huxtables, now they're getting married and divorced so fast that they make Elizabeth Taylor and Britney Spears look like they're nuns!
Perhaps people cheat because they need to feel wanted, desired and what not. I asked a dear friend one time about what the thought, and he said this: "No I don't think it's only a question of ego if married people cheat. The first time you meet with somebody, you discover a fraction of his (her) personality and but 90% of his (her) appearance (Hehe. there is always room in the remaining 10% for… big surprises: wooden leg, a dick where there shouldn't be any, fake teeth or boobs…). Anyway, everybody is on his best at the beginning and makes efforts. So the first few days (or weeks), everything is charming, easy, stimulating and even small faults are endearing. A fight is passionate and usually ends up on the bed in an intense love making session. Deeper feelings and knowledge are prohibited and are the key to the undoing of love affairs. Cheaters don't want to learn too much about their lover or they might end up with a second "relationship" without fireworks and worse …without the advantages of marriage."
We have always pictured ourselves to be married to the perfect partner, living in the perfect house, having 2 perfect kids and a perfect dog. But marriage isn't perfect! He's right, we have to leave room for other surprises (although I'd prefer a wooden leg than a glass eye...ewww). All of a sudden, if the partner doesn't measure up, we divorce them! Marriage isn't about guarantees. If people wanted guarantees, they're better off buying a plasma TV in an electronic store.
A wedding needs a wedding planner. A marriage needs a partner. Your husband/wife/life partner is that - a partner. You're not supposed to carry all the burden, you have someone to share the load with you.
And with that. I stopped feeling alone.
Marriage is about two people. Most of the time we get so caught up in ourselves that we forget to think that we have other people to take care of. Some people I've met and know are married but are still carrying on with sordid yet discreet love affairs. It's become a lifestyle. It's sad to think about it, but there's really nothing else you can do about it but watch them crash and burn. Some of them think it's not cheating but sex. It's a lustful action that cannot be defined or put in the same level as cheating - so they say. I don't know. You can call a spade a hoe but I just call them as I see them. No matter how hard they try to justify it, it's just plain old adultery to me.
Which makes me think, has marriage become something this shallow? Is the sanctity of marriage a thing of the past, like rotary phones and manual typewriters? Years ago, when you say that you've been married of 3 years, people will respond as "3 years? You're still a newlywed!" Now, if you tell people that you've been married for 3 years, "Wow! 3 years?! That's like a century!" (No, it's three years, you jackass) The media has distorted the concept of marriage. 20 years ago, people wanted the family and marriage of the Huxtables, now they're getting married and divorced so fast that they make Elizabeth Taylor and Britney Spears look like they're nuns!
Perhaps people cheat because they need to feel wanted, desired and what not. I asked a dear friend one time about what the thought, and he said this: "No I don't think it's only a question of ego if married people cheat. The first time you meet with somebody, you discover a fraction of his (her) personality and but 90% of his (her) appearance (Hehe. there is always room in the remaining 10% for… big surprises: wooden leg, a dick where there shouldn't be any, fake teeth or boobs…). Anyway, everybody is on his best at the beginning and makes efforts. So the first few days (or weeks), everything is charming, easy, stimulating and even small faults are endearing. A fight is passionate and usually ends up on the bed in an intense love making session. Deeper feelings and knowledge are prohibited and are the key to the undoing of love affairs. Cheaters don't want to learn too much about their lover or they might end up with a second "relationship" without fireworks and worse …without the advantages of marriage."
We have always pictured ourselves to be married to the perfect partner, living in the perfect house, having 2 perfect kids and a perfect dog. But marriage isn't perfect! He's right, we have to leave room for other surprises (although I'd prefer a wooden leg than a glass eye...ewww). All of a sudden, if the partner doesn't measure up, we divorce them! Marriage isn't about guarantees. If people wanted guarantees, they're better off buying a plasma TV in an electronic store.
A wedding needs a wedding planner. A marriage needs a partner. Your husband/wife/life partner is that - a partner. You're not supposed to carry all the burden, you have someone to share the load with you.
And with that. I stopped feeling alone.
