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A reprise in F major (loser)
"Comfort Zone". One is supposed to break out of his/her comfort zone in order to test his/her limits and determine himself/herself to succeed. I taught that module yesterday. It's pretty fucking ironic. I do have to step out of my comfort zone.
I think I got used to the idea that I controlled everything. I called the shots and people were idiots ( or dead) if they messed with me. Suddenly, I'm no longer in control and idiots try to test my patience and try to bully me around. It's a situation that induces rage and panic. I know I have to adjust, I know I have to accept the things that I can't change (yet). It's also frustrating to see a team with so much potential but has the tendency to screw things over. My boss now is cool. She's sweet and ballsy, I mean, you can't find those two words together - but that's what she is, an oxymoron and it's great. I guess I still have to prove myself, that I am responsible and that I can call the shots, as I have done before. But there's no way of proving that because they're with that tried and tested method and I think it would take a lot of time and effort for me to break the mold and prove it to them. The question is, is it worth it?
Isa pa, these people are sosyal, period. I can't get through them or at least they can't appreciate me and what I am kasi di naman sila ganun. They talk about louis vuitton bags, freshly purchased cars and trips to the beach this weekend. I can't relate! I'd talk about some inane stuff that a trainee did or the latest showbiz chismis or maybe a sarcastic quip or two and it produces forced polite smiles. I end up eating lunch alone, smoking with my trainees or just staying the fuck away from people. No offense to these people, I'm not judging, it's just that they're built that way and I'm built differently. So, for my sanity's sake, I have to walk three blocks down just to talk to people of my own kind. "of my own kind". Yeah...from a different mold and specie.
Mabuhay ang mga Jologs!
I think I got used to the idea that I controlled everything. I called the shots and people were idiots ( or dead) if they messed with me. Suddenly, I'm no longer in control and idiots try to test my patience and try to bully me around. It's a situation that induces rage and panic. I know I have to adjust, I know I have to accept the things that I can't change (yet). It's also frustrating to see a team with so much potential but has the tendency to screw things over. My boss now is cool. She's sweet and ballsy, I mean, you can't find those two words together - but that's what she is, an oxymoron and it's great. I guess I still have to prove myself, that I am responsible and that I can call the shots, as I have done before. But there's no way of proving that because they're with that tried and tested method and I think it would take a lot of time and effort for me to break the mold and prove it to them. The question is, is it worth it?
Isa pa, these people are sosyal, period. I can't get through them or at least they can't appreciate me and what I am kasi di naman sila ganun. They talk about louis vuitton bags, freshly purchased cars and trips to the beach this weekend. I can't relate! I'd talk about some inane stuff that a trainee did or the latest showbiz chismis or maybe a sarcastic quip or two and it produces forced polite smiles. I end up eating lunch alone, smoking with my trainees or just staying the fuck away from people. No offense to these people, I'm not judging, it's just that they're built that way and I'm built differently. So, for my sanity's sake, I have to walk three blocks down just to talk to people of my own kind. "of my own kind". Yeah...from a different mold and specie.
Mabuhay ang mga Jologs!
