I never understood why people write in text code even when there's a keyboard available.

***

So the Philippines is an SMS addicted country. Our people love to send text messages, and because of the cost (or rather the lack of cost), they'd rather text one another rather than making a call. It's cheaper and faster to communicate via SMS. I understand that there's only so much characters that your SMS creator can take. So, to squeeze in an entire message to 247 characters, they tend to intentionaly omit some vowels and consonants and replace them with numbers or phonics. The word wait becomes w8, "where are you?" becomes wru, Oh my god! becomes OMG!

The same holds true for internet lingo - but then, they're acronyms (LOL - Laugh out loud, ROTFL - Rolling on the floor, laughing, LMAO - laughing my ass off) and they make sense.

***

There's a corruption happening here. Most people can't even spell correctly, why do we even encourage them to misspell some more?

***

You know there's something wrong when it takes you 5 minutes to decipher and decode a simple SMS message. "w8! wru n b? m stl hir @ d mkti. wer wil u b n 30 mins? bka pede kta m n lng me s atc. bka ml8 me pg pque tyo mit. k lng?" Oh dear god... Will somebody please give me a katana for me to use on myself. Last time I checked, murder was still a crime.

Ok. I accept that this is the norm for texting. I understand that. I may hate it, but I understand it. But why, oh why, do they still write this way when they blog? Dah-ling, the keyboard is there. You can type it all down. Why make other people suffer??? Is that your purpose in life? Is that your calling? To make my head hurt? Is it??? Is it??? Breathe...breathe...breathe... Go to your happy place...

***
Then, there's this:

(copy and paste the picture to your paint program to enlarge)

I don't know what's worse...

My head hurts...

Finally!! He posted my picture!

I LOVE Bryanboy!!!!

Thanks for letting me hang around your shade, luv!

Went to Tagaytay over the weekend. Looked at some property up the hills - fun, fun, fun!! Little chick can actually live in the province, she assimilates well.
The property is a bit slopey, but the good part is it has a creek/river! I can just imagine the kiddos fishing, swimming and playing there. Lots of trees and everything nature related. I like it. Like it a lot.

We're thinking of buying some farm animals: goats, chickens and cows. I'm thinking of abducting the stray ones instead! Harharhar!

This is my Nanie Su. I looove her! She babies me until now. LOVE YOU NANIE!

Show some mountain love!!

Just wanted to share more pictures. Look at how my boys have grown. Handsome little fellas!

After the zoo celebration, we had a quiet one shared by the nuclear family.

*sniff* They're growing up too fast...

Happy birthday to my second mom, Nanie Susan!!

I love her because she still babies and spoils me even if I'm 30 and with 3 kids at that.
I love her because she taught me how to be graceful under pressure.
I love her because she calls me under the pretense of talking about mundane crap but she really just misses me.
I love her because she cooks the best adobo and laing that my husband would kill for.
I love her because she is absolutely the best!!!

LOVE YOU NANIE!!

TEN Women you find sexy-
Marge Heldenberger (CSI Las Vegas chick. HOT!)
Angelina Jolie
Fairuza Balk
Princess Di
Linda Hamilton (Thanks Pot!)
Lucy Lui
Zhang Zhiyi
Tetchi Agbayani
Jacklyn Jose
Cherie Gil

NINE People you would invite to a special party-
Jason Moss - Will be the life of that party
Nicole Ritchie - Another life of the party
Geoffrey Rush
Pablo Neruda
Tori Amos
Milan Kundera
Sandra Cisneros
Jessica Zafra
Jolina Magdangal (para may topic of discussion naman)

EIGHT sure fire ways to get your attention (positive and negative)-
Be late
Be smelly (and I mean B.O that can make me faint)
Be sweet smelling (I love the scent of soap and shampoo)
Recite poetry (plus points if you quote Neruda)
Buy me Neruda books
Give me a lingering stare
Call me for no reason at all
Send me a letter, not an email, but an old fashioned stamped letter that you've handwritten.

SEVEN pet peeves-
KSP - (Kalabit, sutsot and penge)
Tardiness
Stupidity (Common sense please)
Plagarism
Non-originality
Cell phones ringing in class
Cell phones ringing in movie houses

SIX Women you look up to-
My mother
My great-great grandmother
Sandra Cisneros
Tori Amos
Emily Saliers
Cleopatra

FIVE random things about you-
I love to wear red lipstick when I'm feeling bummed out
I secretly wish I could model for a national artist
I'm really addicted to chocolate
I really am a softie
I have always wanted to see the opera

FOUR most romantic songs (music)-
Mystery - Indigo Girls
Till there was you - Beatles
The way you look tonight - Sinatra
When I fall in love - Elvis

THREE places you want to take a vacation in-
Egypt
Venice, Italy
Paris, France

TWO turn ons-
Full lips
Manly hands

ONE unforgettable moment-
When I found out that I was having twins.

Had a great weekend!

Little chick turned 3 and we all went to the zoo as per her request.

The whole family turned up to celebrate the day with us. We started with the elephant. Poor little elephant was alone in his cage.

Then little chick went to see the pythons. Brave little chick! Motherhen couldn't even come near the damn things! Harvie and I have the same affection for reptiles - absolutely none.
I think they're sexy...yes, but they are sexy if they're within a 5 mile radius from me.

Motherhen also had fun! Check these pictures out.

I want a moleskine (mo-les-keen-a) journal.

I'm sick and tired of having to write with my beautiful silver fountain pen on paper that's as crappy as crap paper.

I want a leather covered, tie-wrap, plain, almost parchment moleskine journal - a large one please. This journal is legendary. Writers, painters, thinker, philosophers and poets used moleskine.

But it's so FUCKING expensive.

*sigh*

I wrote this article a long time ago and found it again on the internet. It's hilarious! God, I was cynical then...wait...I still am.

(This article is not suited for those who do not have a sense of irony nor appreciates wicked humor)

I hate this. I have been in front of this friggin word processor without any sensible coherent thought in my head. (And of course I do realize that there is no such word as friggin.) I hate this. My head is still full of images of Voltes V doing the butterfly return move on the Bozanian beast fighter and my teeth are still hurting form Erica's incessant screaming of "Richuuuuurd!!" Obviously, she hasn't heard of women power and assertive rights. What a pushover. But my husband thinks otherwise, he thinks she's just too adorable. If he wanted adorable, then I would've wanted to be two-dimensional too.

Ahh…cyberspace. It is the last frontier. What scares me is that with all this technology, how do we know that cyberspace isn't being ruled or monopolized by idiots like those in our government? Aiks! What a revolting thought. There should be a law, restraining morons to have access to the Internet. Here's the scene:

I'm in this chat room, right? It's a Filipino chat room, meaning most of the people who go in that room, are either Filipinos themselves or at least someone who understands Filipino. It's a pre-requisite, because you'd have to log in to the room by typing the word tambayan in the box. And the room name is Tambayan, ergo; a foreigner unfamiliar with Filipino would not understand what that means. (Although if by some miraculous divine providence, he heard the Filipino saint whispering in his ear, he was meant to be in that room, but I don't have a religion so I don't care. But I digress) I was arguing with this woman about some mundane topic not worth arguing about but was doing it anyway for fun. I go; "Are you always this stupid or did you ever take lessons for it?" then she answers: "It defends on who I'm talking to."

I froze. I had to stop for half a second to think about if I should seize this moment of my enemy's weakness and run her down like the little useless primordial soup reject that she is or do I let this pass by knowing that she's beneath me and not worth my time. I decided to be mean.

"Defends as in ipagtanggol or defends as in may F defect ka?" Defends as in you are protecting something or defends as in you have a p/f problem?

I am not a fan of people with the "F" defect, it's understandable if you do talk like that, it's your flaw and I understand but I will not talk to you. It is one thing to have an F defect and talking that way, but it is also another to write that way. I wonder if there was anything stuck in that cranium of hers, probably a lot of F's. (Foor ferson, tsk!) This makes me wonder, if she is an idiot and she has Internet access, hmm...how much more of these organisms are there?

I hate this. I'm now stuck to watching TV instead. I guess I'd rather be in the company of these two-dimensional characters than in cyberspace with those characters. At least Big Bert and Steve and the rest of the guys don't have F defects…they just don't talk in sync with the voice overs, but that's another story.

I came home this morning to rest my weary body. I needed to rest and sleep. Yesterday was a long day and today will pretty be much the same. As I prepared to lay my head on the pillow, I flicked on the TV and saw Boy Abunda talking about a Filipino boy in Canada who was punished in school for his "disgusting" eating habits. The boy was eating his food with a spoon and fork, the traditional Filipino way. My interest was piqued. I searched the net and read this article. I am appalled, angry and disgusted.

*****

We eat with a fork and spoon. It makes sense for us Filipinos to do so. Our cuisine has a lot of sauces and we love soup. Traditionally, we also drown our rice in soup. It's our way, it's our culture. Naturally, to be able to eat this wonderfully souped rice, we use the spoon. That's what it's there for. A spoon is a utensil, for food, to use for eating. We use it. If you'd prefer to torture yourself with a fork, go ahead. We Pinoys are happy shoveling our food into our mouth.

So, excuse me for saying expletives to you, fucking racist Norman Bergeron. Who the fuck made you the almighty sovereign power over eating etiquette? Pray that you never have to set foot in the Philippines because I will seek you out and make sure that you fucking do everything our way because as you said "In Canada, this is how we do it".

*****

Next to the US, Canada is the Filipinos' Canaan. Sure, they start with the same letter, they even have 3 a's and an n but that doesn't mean it's the promised land. Pinoys want to live in Canada because Primary and Secondary education is free. Free healthcare, retirement, snow and a whole lot of fucking maple leaves - Canada does offer very tempting things. Question is: is it really worth it? Is this the price to pay for free education? That's why I never trust or believe in the concept of a free lunch. There's always a price to pay.

I don't want to go to Canada anymore.

*****

Related sites:

Food fight infuriates Filipinos here and abroad

Filipino child punished in Canada for table manners

In our house

For about 3 days, a song was stuck in my head. It wasn't poignant nor was it moving but it stayed inside my cranium, deliberately and intentionally driving me crazy.

"Oh carrots are divine, you get a dozen for a dime, it's maaaagic..."

Bugs bunny.

*****

Anyone in my age bracket will probably connect with me in terms of cartoons watched when we were kids. There was Saturday Fun Machine on channel 9 - filled with lots of animated goodies. Electric Company, Great Space Coaster, Scooby Doo and Justice League - the real kick ass Justice League not the oh so PC and twisted Justice League now. Daimos and Voltes V reigned supreme. Life was good.

But in between weekends, we had to content ourselves with Looney Tunes reruns that Channel 13 showed. My cousins and I have memorized the dialogues and scenes by heart but we still laughed at the appropriate places and cues. I love that scene with Sylvester and his son: His son wanted to learn how to catch mice, but Sylvester was way beyond that kind of menial and stereotypical action and was not really capable of catching mice. Thus lies the problem.

"Thuffering Thucacats thon! How can I teach you to catch miyth when there are no miyth in the houth?"

"Well an ingenious father can think of someway to catch some mice"

You see what this really teaches kids? Did you catch the subtext? Did you notice the true mission of these cartoons?

*****

You see, I've finally discovered the real reason why IBC 13 kept on showing the same cartoon episodes over and over again. It wasn't because of copyright and broadcasting rights, this was the late 70's and early 80's. Copyright laws were not all the rage yet. It wasn't because of insufficient funds to purchase more cartoon episodes either. It was a plot to corrupt the kids to become subservient and submissive members of the new society.

Sylvester, in his attempt to catch mice and go against what he has been taught and learned, was almost always physically maimed, anvil-falling-piano-crashing pain was evident. Elmer Fudd, gun-toting lad who believed in reform school, was tortured by Bugs. The government wanted us to remain as "house cats". To never catch mice, to never try something new. They wanted us to never carry guns and believe in reform - change, otherwise a big bad bunny will have to kick our bucket.

*****

The good news is, my children never watch reruns. They get easily bored. *whew!*

But then, there's DVDs that they love watching over and over...

AAARRRGGHH!!!

We trainers pride ourselves with the fact that we have a language all to our own. We're also proud to say that our boss can understand sward speak due to our incessant usage of it. Let me share some words with you.

1. Chuva - Could be a noun or an adjective depending on how you structure your sentence. For example: "Hindi ko siya maintindihan. Mejo chuva ang dating niya" or "Sino kasama niya? Si Chuva ba?"

2. Chorva - Could be a verb or a noun. Example: "Papa chorva kita sa chark!" or "Dami mong chorva! Arte mo 'ni!"

3. Nanti - Don't; a repression of an intended action. Ex. "Ni! Nanti mo i-sight ang kelot. Andyan ang nyowa!"

4. James Yap - In affirmation; yes. Ex. "Nag WMS approve ka na ba?" "James Yap, mother!"

5. 'Ni! - Shortened Bisayang Nene (Nini), as in Motherhen's favorite title to throw at everyone regardless of gender.

6. Wyn Wyn Marquez - Winner, panalo, Bingo! Ex. "Ang ganda ng buhok! Wyn Wyn Marquez ito!"

7. Catherine/Katerine - Adj., malibog, makati, malandi. Ex. "Iba ka. Kinakareer si chuva. Catherine ka talaga!"

8. Beng-bang - Sermon, napagalitan, reprimand, coaching. "Na beng-bang si Norlin kasi di nag WMS approve!"

9. Kamuning - To beckon, to come on over. Ex. "We're going to Festival, join ka? Kamuning!"

Beautiful language. I want to make love to it over and over again. I should be gay.

I'm not a fan of political correctness. It limits behavior. Are we really that sensitive now? Have we become too onion skinned that we are offended when we're called something that we really are? So I'm Pinoy. I'm a mongrel (inter-racially born?). I've got Portuguese, Spanish, Chinese and Malay blood in me. It's the truth so why should I be offended? Does the truth hurt that much? PC is for pussies who can't handle the truth. (You want the truth? You can't handle the truth!)

I'm flat-chested (mammary gland deficient), I've got thick lips (protruding proboscis) and frizzy hair (follically challenged). I'm also poor (economically disadvantaged). Jesus Christ! (Blasphemy right there) If I were to be so PC, everything will be boring!

So I'm the queen of everything that's inappropriate. I'm tactless. I'm cruel and I'm evil.

I say get used to it because I'm not going anywhere.

I think this new 'do really becomes her. She is so HOT! She's got attitude too! Woohoo!!!

I am the son

And the heir

Of a shyness that is criminally vulgar

I am the son and heir

Of nothing in particular
You shut your mouth

How can you say I go about things the wrong way ?

I am Human and I need to be loved

Just like everybody else does
I am the son

And the heir

Of a shyness that is criminally vulgar

I am the son and heir

Oh, of nothing in particular
You shut your mouth

How can you say I go about things the wrong way ?

I am Human and I need to be loved

Just like everybody else does
There's a club, if you'd like to go

You could meet somebody who really loves you

So you go, and you stand on your own

And you leave on your own

And you go home, and you cry

And you want to die
When you say it's gonna happen "now"

Well, when exactly do you mean ?

See I've already waited too long

And all my hope is gone
You shut your mouth

How can you say I go about things the wrong way ?

I am Human and I need to be loved

Just like everybody else does

I love this song. I've heard it before Charmed used it, really I did. I just didn't think it was Morrissey. LOVE IT!

Rica's on the night shift doing CEs so she's not in today's look for the day. But hey, maybe I'll get lucky tomorrow!

Innocent look for Lynne today

Dramatic pose for the motherhen

Your Alias Should Be:

Kiersten India

What Should Your Alias Be?

You Are Trinity

"Touch me and that hand will never touch anything again."

What Superheroine Are You?

You Belong in London

A little old fashioned, and a little modern. A little traditional, and a little bit punk rock. A unique woman like you needs a city that offers everything. No wonder you and London will get along so well.

What City Do You Belong In?

Went to my hubby's best friend's wedding yesterday. It was a beautiful ceremony. I cried when the groom saw the bride walkling down the aisle. It was magical and very emotional.

The church was modest but it had an ethereal feeling to it. Motif was matted gold. Very elegant color. The bride looked stunning and the groom - well, just looked stunned (joke lang Onald!)

Hubby was part of the entourage as a secondary sponsor. Little chick was a flower girl. She looked positively angelic! Makes me think about the time when she's going to get married. (waahh!!!) But I've got at least 23 more years to go...

These are our best Bryanboy bag poses.

Norlin... sana mag make-up ka. Pirates of the Carribean ba ang drama natin?
Ricapot pot!! Preppy chic outfit for today. Check out the pearls!!
Motherhen in her best Angelina Jolie look.

Harvie Calim: TDM, T3 trainer, brother, son and best friend. I looove the Hugh Hefner outfit. Too bad he doesn't have a mansion with bunnies walking around half naked.

This would be my daughter, she'll be 3 on the 22nd of May. Looks like her mom - absolutely hot!
This is my youngest, Thomas. Also known as La Paz (Batchoy)
My eldest son, Zachary. Guapito!!
Hubby Dodie with Bea
Motherhen with her Chick!!

Lin in her rockstar mood.
Ricapot with her new haircut and cleavage!!
Work it like you own it!! HAHAHAHA!! At hindi tyan yan, hips yan!!

Rest in Peace Hey.

I envy the angels now, they've got someone to make them laugh.

Don't forget to watch over us once in a while...

I asked Rica to join me at the salon today. I wanted to buzz my hair off. Chop the motherfucker off - all of it! But I ended up having a pedi, mani and a trim. I wanted to look like Angelina Jolie but ended up looking like Jennifer Aniston.


Rica on the other hand got this very stylish haircut. It really looks better than this - crazy one. She looks HOT!

Why do women go to the salon when they're depressed? There should be a study for this phenomenon.